10 Tips for Public Speaking-How to keep from Freaking!

Public speaking 

Our twins are 6 ft. 8 inches and lift weights every day. They look like they wouldn’t be scared of anything, but they are…..public speaking. And they aren’t alone. 3 out of every 4 people have glossophobia, or fear of public speaking. Of all the phobias out there (and there are 100s) getting up in front of an audience and talking is number one.

Years ago I was a member of a club and I was asked to give a talk at the beginning of a meeting. I prepared, went to the meeting, started to speak and then I freaked. My voice quivered. I broke out in a cold sweat and finally had to ask someone else to take over.

After that experience I thought I would never, ever speak in public again. I should have known better than to say “never.” In 1995 my first book was published and I went to book signings and was invited to Atlanta to speak on television about my book.

My sister-in-law went with me and the television interview went fine. An interview isn’t like speaking alone, but it’s still pretty scary if you have a fear of speaking. Since that time I’ve published several more books and given lots of speeches and while I am by no means a professional, I haven’t freaked since way back at that meeting I told you about. Here are some things that helped me. Hopefully, they will help you too!

1. Think of the toughest thing you has ever happened to you. What got you through it? For me the answer was my mother’s cancer. The last year of her life challenged me in ways I had never imagined. I had no choice but to step up and do what needed to be done. I had one sibling and he was busy with a new job, a pregnant wife and building a house. My sister-in-law was amazing and a big help but at least 80 percent of the care giving fell to me. At the time I had three young children and a husband who was working and going to school. It. Was. Hard. When I compare public speaking to that year of my life I realized that if I could get through that, I could do just about anything. Even public speaking.
2. When I first began speaking I was talking about my book, a topic I knew well. Then people began asking me to speak on other topics. That was more difficult. It required research, study and practice. Lots and lots of practice. Make yourself stand in front of a mirror and talk. It will show you the importance of facial expression and if you keep practicing you will be more confident.
3. Remember that your audience wants to like you, at least all the ones I have spoken to do. So far no one has thrown rotten tomatoes at me or booed me. If you mess up, and most of us will from time to time, don’t let it throw you. Just crack a joke or act like you meant to do whatever it was you did wrong. If you don’t make a big deal out of it then it won’t be a big deal.
4. Technology is good when it works but always have a backup plan in case it doesn’t. If you are using a power point and it comes a thunder storm and the power goes out, then what do you do? While I have never had that happen I once gave a speech where my computer wasn’t compatible with the equipment. My husband ran to a nearby mall and bought me the correct cable to hook up with the equipment. I should have checked in advance and from then on I did!
5. Loosen up and relax. What do you do when you want to relax? I like to walk when I’m stressed and I always pray before every event. While it’s not always possible for me to walk before I speak, it is always possible to pray and I ask others to pray for me. Whatever you do to relax yourself (deep breathing, meditation, etc.) use it to help you chill before you speak.
6. Arrive early. The worst thing in the world is to be late to a speaking date. I’ve gotten lost once or twice on my way to an event and cut it pretty close and even that gets me flustered. Know where you are going and get there early!
7. Make friends before you start. You arrive early and as people come in, greet them and make small talk. Again, they want to like you so make them feel comfortable and it will help you relax too.
8. Dress for success. You don’t have to wear something new every time but always consider your audience and what is appropriate. I also recommend planning ahead. I’m terrible about changing my mind 1o times while I am getting ready. Once I went a bathroom to check my makeup right before I spoke and as I turned I realized I had worn zebra striped panties beneath white pants! You could definitely see the stripes so I made a joke about it and went on with my speech. From then on I planned what I would wear the night before…all the way down to my underwear!
9. Smile! My sister-in-law is a middle school principal and she’s a great public speaker. She can smile while she talks! I’ve never seen anyone as good at it as she is! If someone smiles at you it makes you want to smile back. It’s okay to use notes or bullet points but don’t read a speech. Talk to your audience like you are on the phone with them or chatting at a restaurant. They want you to look at them! When it’s appropriate use some humor in your speech. People love to laugh.
10. Find two or three people in your audience who are really engaged in what you are saying. Rotate eye contact with each of them while you talk. They don’t realize it but they are your encouragers and you can draw strength and confidence from them! Also, make sure everyone can hear you. There’s nothing worse than having someone come up to you after your speech and informing you they didn’t hear a word you said. That happened to me once and now I always ask if the people in the back of the room can hear me.

If you need a speaker for an upcoming event check out my Teresa Speaks page or contact me at te****@na******.com .

Recommendations:

Dr. Ken Canfield – Ken Canfield, a nationally-known leader and scholar.  He founded the National Center for Fathering, where he served as President for 16 years. He is currently president of the National Association for Grandparenting (GrandsMatter.org), which he founded in 2016.

 “Teresa is a consummate, committed grandmother whose passion and insights have encouraged countless others. She’s an excellent speaker and writer. Teresa has written some outstanding brief articles for the National Association for Grandparenting, and has been a speaker at our conferences. Her blog posts speak for themselves, being: succinct, empathetic and full of common sense. I heartily recommend her work to you!”

From Carol Warrell -Pittsburg, PA
Teresa graciously accepted an invitation to speak about Stress at our church’s annual Ladies Day. We found her presentation to be direct, extremely helpful and positively heartwarming. She was completely approachable and very well prepared. Teresa’s appearance at our special day proved to be a source of encouragement to all the ladies who attended.