Speeding Tickets for Life…Mommas, Slow Down

Speeding Tickets and Traffic School

Once upon a time there was a mom who was like the old woman in the shoe who had so many children she didn’t know what to do. She loved each of her children dearly but there was only one of her and there were 5 kids. She was way outnumbered.

Her husband loved the children too but he had to work to keep pizza on the table and soda in the fridge. The husband went to work and the mom was the chief cook and bottle washer, did the laundry, went shopping, coordinated appointments, and was the transportation director.

She. Was. Busy. Busier. Busiest.

Her children went to church. They went to school. They went to ball practice. They had golf matches. Basketball games. Volley ball games. They each participated in sports and they all wanted to attend every school function. Occasionally this mom said “no” but more often than not she said “yes” and took them where they needed to go.

This mom’s van was littered from one end to the other with a variety of trash and mysterious substances that no one (including the nice young teenager who detailed cars after school) could identify. One hot summer day there was such a horrific odor inside the van that all the children (and mom) thought they would vomit. After a search they found chicken livers from the oldest son’s fishing expedition under the seat. The 100 degree heat had baked them causing quiet a stench. There were no more fishing trips for the eldest son that year.

Between school events, practices, dental appointments, doctor appointments, grocery shopping and more the mom was stretched thin and often in a hurry. The nice policeman in town knew this but it didn’t matter to him “why” she was in a hurry. It only mattered to him that she broke the speed limit.

“But officer,” she argued, “I wasn’t going very fast.”

He looked at her and rolled his eyes. “You were doing 60 in a 40 zone.”

She handed him her license. “Mommy are we going to jail?” a small voice said from the back of the van.

“No we are not going to jail. The nice policeman just wants mommy to slow down a bit,” she said.

He handed her a ticket. “Slow down a lot. Did you know that you’re silver van is referred to as the Speeding Bullet by local cops?”

“Uh, no,” she said, “I’ll do better. I promise,” Her face was flushed bright red. But she didn’t do better.

If You Make A Promise You Should Follow Through

Over the years this mom accrued enough speeding tickets to send her to traffic school….not once…..not twice…..but three times.

By the third time she took the class she knew the material so well she could have taught the class. The instructor recognized her and raised his eye brows when she came in and sat down beside a guy with a mohawk and a goatee. It was the only seat left in a packed room. Not that she had anything against mohawks or goatees (as long as they weren’t on her children). He was wearing a tee shirt with the sleeves cut out the words on his shirt appropriately said, “Born to Run.” When he smiled at her she noticed three of his top teeth were missing, but it was still a nice smile.

He looked her over and she wondered what she looked like to him. Probably like what she was….a stressed out frazzled mom of five wearing a sweatshirt and jeans that should have been washed yesterday and hair that probably needed a cut by someone other than her sister-in-law (who was a teacher…not a stylist.}

“You don’t look like the type for traffic school,” he said.

Her cheeks colored. “Third time,” she whispered.

“My fifth,” he said and winked at her.

They say 3rd time is the charm (somebody said it) and it was true for her. Sitting there in a room packed with traffic offenders she vowed that she would reform. No more putting the pedal to the metal. No more rushing to get someone to something that could wait. Either they would leave earlier or they would be late. And this time, she knew in her heart she meant it.

SLOW DOWN MOMMAS

It’s been at least 30 years since I got a traffic ticket (yeah, I know you knew it was me) Yes my kids were late for a lot of things. Sometimes it was my fault. Sometimes it was their fault. But you know what, nothing bad happened because they were late and something good happened because I slowed down.

Not only did I not get anymore speeding tickets or go to traffic school….we got where we were going safely. I’m convinced that had I not slowed down sooner or later we would have been involved in an accident. Plus I was setting a horrible example for my kids.

When I chilled out (a bit, not a lot but a bit) my kids learned the importance of getting started earlier so they could get to places on time. The nice policeman in my home town actually smiled at me when I waved at him and the traffic school teacher was relieved. (So was my husband when it came time to pay our insurance)

To all you moms out there who are doing what I did all those years ago I want to say just one thing to you and I want you to really listen. (Pretty please with sugar on top?)

Slow down. Take a deep breath. Stop worrying about being late. Either leave earlier or be late. The world won’t end. Speeding is not worth it. Life is short. Enjoy the ride. Even when it’s in a stinking van full of trash and weird smells and kid farts. One day it will be over (even though it feels like it will never end).

I promise. You will miss it. Every practice, game, appointment, sleep over…..you will miss it.

How do I know? Because I sure do.

NanaHood

And that’s why I love NanaHood so much. I have slowed down (some) and definitely slowed down when it comes to driving. I want to be a good driving example to my (gasp) teenage granddaughter and I don’t want to miss a minute of my young grandchildren’s love and snuggles.

Because as fast as I drove all those years ago….life goes faster.

Trust me on this. In the blink of an eye you’ll be a nana and you won’t believe how fast you got there.

So…..

Blog Hop for friends! Please Link Up and Leave a Comment! I love hearing from you! And if you are interested in a friend’s thoughts about slowing down read Elaine Ambrose’s post called Grandchildren as Speed Bumps.