Royalty for a day

Yesterday I received my crown so that makes me a queen, right? Okay, okay. Technically my coronation ceremony was at the dentist office and my crown is on my tooth, but as far as I’m concerned that still counts.

I have to tell you a story about me and a crown that happened a long time ago….

Once Upon a Time I was young….

and several of my girlfriends were in pageants. In the south these are ususally held at county fairs somewhere between the tractor pull and the horse show. If you’ve never been to one I can tell you that they are all pretty much the same; 20 to 30 girls wearing too much makeup and in my day, big, puffy hair. Each young girl hopes that at the end of the night she will be wearing a crown on top of that puffy hair, but of course only one can win so that leaves a whole host of losers (or non-winners sounds better) who go to the next county fair the next weekend and try again.

Anyway, my friends talked me into being in one and I was a nervous wreck. The night was hot and muggy and my straight hair wouldn’t puff up if a tornado got up under it. When it was my turn to walk out I took a deep breath, tried to freeze a smile on my trembling lips and set off. To my knowledge what happened to me has never happened again in the history of county fair pageants. Someone’s dog decided to visit the fairgrounds and evidently liked the lights from the pageant. To this day I don’t know if the dog liked the way I smelled or the way I looked but it definitely liked me. It followed me out on the stage and when I stopped, he stopped. When I walked, he walked. The dog was smitten. It looked up at me like I was a t-bone steak fresh off the grill. There wasn’t a thing I could do. I thought about lifting up my long dress and gently but firmly taking my foot and pushing the dog off the stage but with my luck he would have landed in the judges lap and that probably wouldn’t have scored me any points. By the way, I didn’t win a crown but I was voted Miss Congeniality by all pet owners.

One More Crown Story….

When the kids were all small and I tried to keep their toys picked up, do laundry and all the other stuff mom’s do, I was often a nut case. My daughter loved playing dress up and had her own pretend pageants (we start them young in Kentucky). She had cheap rhinestone crowns she played with and one day I popped one on my head while I continued cleaning. Believe it or not I forgot I had the thing on and went to town for something. At that time we didn’t have a stop light in town (I live in a very small town) but we had a caution light. I slowed down and stopped and when I glanced to my right I saw a friend who was pointing at me and dying laughing. I looked in the car mirror, yanked the crown off and threw it in the back seat. Maybe subconsciously I still wasn’t over the fact that I didn’t win at the county fair.

Back to the dentist…

The crown I received yesterday at the dentist wasn’t my first. In fact, if you took all the money my parents spent on braces and added it to the amount I have spent in the last five years on my teeth I am sure I could cruise around the world once or twice.

My teeth are not the best in the world, but I like having them. They come in handy for eating things with more texture than cheese cake and so I will continue to visit Dr. Amy and her “happy gas” machine.

Thank you Lord for my grinders…and for dentists who help me keep them!