What are children most afraid of?
A few days ago I was listening to someone in the education field speak and they asked the following question.
“What are children most afraid of?”
Do you know? Kid’s Health talked about children being scared of things like spiders and snakes.
But according to the educator conducting the training I attended the answer is “Fear of losing a parent.”
The educator went on to ask if anyone could guess what the second greatest fear was?
What do you think it was?
The answer was “Fear of being embarrassed in class by a teacher.”
The speaker was shocked that embarrassment ranked so high. I wasn’t.
I am not an expert on much of anything but I was a high school teacher and I have raised five children. One thing I never did in the class room or to my own children is embarrass them in front of their friends. Why? Because I know how traumatic that can be for a child.
I suspect this knowledge comes from an incident that happened to me in fifth grade. I will never forget what I was wearing the day my teacher told me I was fat. That’s right…oh, she didn’t come right out and say it like that. I was wearing a green dress that had a knit top, a belt, and a flowered skirt. My teacher looked at my dress, frowned, and said, “You’ll be sorry you eat so much when you are older.” And she looked at my waistline as she said it. I’ve never liked the color green since.
One of the worst things a teacher can do is embarrass a child. I know this.
I read the following prayer and thought I would share it with you.
What are your thoughts on embarrassing a child?
Source Unknown
Heavenly Father,
Make me a better parent
Teach me to understand my children,
To listen patiently to what they have to say,
And to answer all their questions kindly.
Keep me from interrupting them,
or contradicting them.
Make me as courteous to them
as I would have them be to me.
Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes,
Or resort to shame or ridicule if they displease me.
Bless me with the bigness to grant them
all their reasonable requests,
And the courage to deny them privileges
that I know will do them harm.
Make me fair and just and kind.
And fit me, O Lord,
to be loved and respected
and imitated by my children.
Amen.
I agree, and it isn’t just teachers. Any adult who purposefully embarrasses a child should be ashamed!
I remember being fearful of losing my parents. My oldest granddaughter shared fears of losing me after she had lost a great grandfather on the other side of the family. It opened up a good discussion between us where I was able to calm her fears.
I saw first hand the toll that a teacher can take when they embarrass their students. One such teacher took it’s toll on my granddaughters enthusiasm for school and on her emotions. History proves that this teacher has a problem with what she considers privileged little girls in her class. This school year it was my granddaughter with the target on her back. Awful horrible things were said to my granddaughter and behind her back to classmates who repeated the words to my granddaughter. I have great admiration for teachers but this one either needs to address and resolve her own issues or be fired!
I used this for a writing prompt each year and hands down, the death of a parent was their greatest fear. Next was their own death.
I was scared that my parents would die. I was scared of my piano teacher. As a teacher it makes me sick to hear anyone talk down to children. Do we think their feelings don’t count?