Dear Momma-A Letter on the 30th Anniversary of your Death

Dear Momma,

It’s been 30 years this month that you left us. How can that be possible? How could I have lived that many years without you in my life? How did the world keep turning without you here?

There’s so much you and Daddy didn’t get to see because you left this world too soon. You never met my nephews or our twins. You would have loved them so much. You would have marveled at how handsome all our boys are and how beautiful our sweet daughter is. And if you could have been a great-grandmother and met my 7 grandchildren, you would be amazed at how unique and utterly perfect they all are.

I know you wouldn’t want me to stay sad because you are gone but I have to confess, there is a hole in my heart where your love lived. Every birthday, every holiday, every major event I encounter… just isn’t the same without you by my side.

I visit your’s and Daddy’s grave often. I sit there and talk to you and cry even though I know you aren’t there. It’s just a place to mourn and to remember you both and how much love we shared.

A lot can happen in 30 years. Times have changed. The world has changed. I’ve changed. You wouldn’t recognize me now, or maybe you would. Mothers always know their babies no matter how old they get. I’m older now than you were when you died and almost as old as Daddy was when he passed. I have wrinkles and gray hair that I keep covered up except during the pandemic. (I’ll tell you about that when I get where you are). And I’ve gained weight around my middle that won’t go away no matter how hard I try. And I do try occasionally.

The one thing that hasn’t changed much are my memories of you and how much you loved us (warts and all). I sure do love and miss you, dear Momma. Even if I live another 30 years, that will never ever change.