Autism Awareness Reflections From The Kitchen Sink

By Melinda Campbell

April is Autism Awareness month. For families on the inside, we jokingly say we are very aware of autism every month, but we truly appreciate the big blue light focus on this challenging issue. The increase in the number of autism cases the last several decades is a bit mind-boggling; however, more awareness and better screening has had a lot to do with that statistical rise. The latest Center for Disease Control ratio is 1 in 54 kiddos. They have found four times more boys than girls on the spectrum. Here at Chez Campbell, we have one of the 54, and he is a pretty special guy. 

The thing about autism is that is manifests itself so differently in every individual. I’ve had educators say they “know all about autism” because they have dealt with a few students over the years and read a chapter in a psychology textbook. I’ve had friends say they know about autism because their neighbor had a kid on the spectrum. People say they know someone who knows someone who had a third cousin who loved red shoes who had a friend with autism. Okay, that last one was a stretch, but that’s really what a lot of autism “experts” sound like to those of us on the inside. 

To look at my kiddo who is on the spectrum, at first glance, you wouldn’t realize there is a “problem.” In fact, you can glance a lot and not know he faces some extra challenges. He’s tall and pretty handsome. He can walk. He can run. He can feed himself. All the basics. If you put pencil to paper, his IQ is pretty remarkable. He drops some ten-dollar words naturally and did remarkably well on his ACT. He’s a full-time college student on an academic scholarship, and he can dunk a basketball unless he has had too many PopTarts that day and is carb-sluggish. It is his inner mind and social-emotional pieces that put him in the autism puzzle box. You have to know him and pay attention to him to see the challenges. Yes, at 6’8” he can walk over physical hurdles, but those long legs don’t carry him over the real world interaction hurdles, and that’s where life gets extra sticky. 

My boy doesn’t see the world like a grown-up. If you consider his age, he is an adult. If you consider his heart though, he’s still a small child which is absolutely wonderful and absolutely scary all at the same time. He has an innocent curiosity and thrill of discovering the new in things, but he has a naïveté that makes him prone to exploitation and even possible abuse. He has an uncanny ability to focus on the most minute details of a game or cartoon, but he doesn’t have the ability to focus on the basics of every day life needed to be truly independent. He has a cute spontaneous side and an intense escalation into challenging moments side. The dichotomy of his world is just hard. 

Most people only see the better parts of my boy’s life. He learned early on to try to keep things in check out in the world. Home is his safe space. It always has been. 

Our efforts here have always needed structure and routine. We simply don’t have a choice about some things. Oh, yes, we have been criticized plenty by people who aren’t on the inside, but we have also had a few people over the years have snippets of experiences with our boy which have made them see the light…well, the blue light of awareness. 

In terms of awareness, the most important piece of advice is to just love folks on the spectrum wherever they are on any given day—or in any given minute—and love their in-house support system with the realization that the people who are on the clock 24-7 see things, experience things, and manage things that are way out of the realm of comprehension for people on the outside. Med management, multiple therapy appointments, picky food choices, vigilance in what seems to be the most minor matters: all of those are just pieces of that autism management puzzle. 

Every person in the world has been created for a real purpose and should be valued as such. Autism Awareness Month draws attention to some very special and often misunderstood individuals in society. Let’s learn to appreciate the best in each other even if those best parts make us different. That’s when the puzzle will truly come together. 

Now it is time for me to wake my boys and get this party started. 

…until next time…

Bio:All Reflections from the Kitchen Sink posts are written by Melinda Campbell. Melinda is a retired educator who currently focuses her efforts on raising her two teenaged boys, advocating for individuals with special needs and against drunk driving, and serving in her local community. New Kitchen Sink Merchandise-Click Here?