Reflections From the Kitchen Sink on Slowing Down
It dawned on me this morning that one reason I’m drawn to my sink time each day is the quiet nature of my time here. Yes, it’s the place of that big talk with my late husband, and, yes, it is my starting place for my prayer time a lot; however, it is also the spot where my day begins, sometimes even before the sun rises and always when there is a tangible stillness in the house. I typically have at least an hour of alone time—well, minus my furry sidekick—before I venture into the rush of the day. I don’t check email or social media. I don’t turn a tv on. Other than the hum of the fridge I still need to replace and the ticking of the clock in the next room, there is a sense of calm. Don’t we all need that? Even when a cell phone battery dies, there are a couple minutes of recharging needed before the phone can be useful again. The sink, I’ve discovered, is my charging station.
We’ve all experienced those days when we’ve been in a deep sleep and missed that alarm. The panic when we roll over and see we’ve been in the bed that extra 30 or 45 minutes rushes over us. Often we think we are doing ourselves a favor by setting the alarm for the very latest we can, thinking we can easily get up and out the door in minimal time. Sometimes though, squeezing those last moments of rest push us into an anxiety that messes with us the rest of the day. We lose our sense of control over our day, and we act like a two-year old having a tantrum. Children aren’t the only ones who need routine. Placing ourselves into a schedule that honors quiet time has its rewards. Most people plug their phones in at night as a matter of routine; we need to do that for ourselves, too.
Our world is busy. I have two teenaged boys. I’m a solo mom. We have medical appointments weekly due to some health issues. We have ball practices, study sessions, volunteer activities, church services, grocery runs…the list could go on and on. It has been planted heavily in my heart lately that my kids need to slow down. Being a teen is hard enough these days, but being a teen boy grieving the loss of your dad adds an extra layer. You might say, “Come on, Melinda. It’s been over four years.” What you may not see though is that victims of traumatic and sudden losses often go through such delays accepting their situations that their grief is delayed. Add to that the natural instinct to run away from that grief—by staying as busy as possible so you don’t have time to think about it—and you can push yourself into a frenzy and forget the need to recharge.
It doesn’t take a tragedy to push you into a life of extra busyness. Society has us geared to think busy equals productive and/or successful. The last couple years of Michael’s life included our diligently seeking a slower path. He was barely into his 40’s and exhausted. He missed most of the kids’ events because of work, and his few days off were often crammed with activity just trying to make up for lost time. Even Sundays were slammed with rushing from place to place trying to get in all the things he thought he should do. He had decided it was time for a change. He and our home needed the recharging time. In his journal, Michael even wrote that 2015 was going to be his “best year ever.” That is a bold reminder not to wait to put real priorities in line.
Busyness can be a thief of joy. The rush can push a false sense of accomplishment through us that mimics satisfaction even. Until we slow down in a purposeful recharging effort, we don’t see that those emotions aren’t really those we’ve been seeking. I encourage you to find your spot and give yourself that time of reflection and meditation each day. It will be well worth the effort.
…and of course, you might want to enjoy your coffee during that time, too.
…until next time…
Bio-Melinda Campbell is a retired educator who currently focuses her efforts on raising her two teenaged boys, advocating for individuals with special needs and against drunk driving, and serving in her local community. Melinda has been gaining recognition for her writings labeled “Reflections from my Kitchen Sink” since the tragic death of her husband Michael in 2015. In her stories, she shares observations from her daily life including moments she has as a solo parent, a widow, and a woman who battles significant health issues including fibromyalgia and depression. BIG ANNOUNCEMENT- New Kitchen Sink Merchandise-Click Here
