Your Life-What Do You Wish You Had Done Differently?

What do you wish you had done differently?

The other day I was in the grocery store. The cashier was ringing up my purchases and while I was waiting on her I listened in on two gentlemen who were nearby. They were dressed in overalls and probably farmers sitting waiting for their wives. I couldn’t help but overhear them.

The younger of the pair asked the older man what he wished he had done differently with his life, which is a pretty weighty question to tackle in a grocery store with people milling to and fro. The older man thought a minute and then began to answer. I’ll tell you what he said in just a minute…..but first…..

His question made the wheels inside my brain start spinning. I know what I regret, but what about other women? Do we all regret similar things or do we each carry around in our heads our own list of “I wish I had…..”

To find out I surveyed grandmothers on my NanaHood Facebook page and on another Facebook page I help with. What follows are their answers. See how many if any you can relate to.

“When I look at my children and see what good parents they are to their children I wish I had had more patience. Then again they’ve all turned out lovely people so I must have got something right.” R.D.

“I Would not have just gone along with what everyone else wanted and be more assertive in what would make me happy as well, starting to do it now and feel so much stronger!!” D. G.

“I have made thousands of things I could write as mistakes, but then I remember all the lessons I learned and how wise I am, so I would change nothing.” J.B.

“I would hug my loved ones tighter! Not sweat the small stuff so much. Prayed more.” H.C.

” I wish I had realized at a younger age what God means when He says, “be holy, for I am holy.” It has an effect on so many decisions we make when we see that as more than words on a page.” D.B.

” I would let the petty little things “go” and would determine that “if it does not affect my salvation, it isn’t worth fretting over.” D.N.

“My mom and I were talking about stuff like that the other day. She kept saying she wished she would have done things differently with my dad. My parents married and divorced twice to each other. The stories that she focuses on are mainly bad stories about my dad and how she should have left him sooner. I told her though that if she had then I wouldn’t be here and neither would her grandkids. My dad passed away last year and she’s still mad at him. Sometimes you just have to let it go..…” M.L.

“I would have been open for more opportunities to reach out and help others.” D.H.

“Spend less, live more minimalist.” G.M.

“Pray more, worry less.” R.G.

“I am probably the minority here. I wouldn’t live it differently. Every mistake, every hurt is there for a reason, they have made me who I am. They have molded me down the path I have taken. While it would be nice to smooth off the edges, it is the rough parts that I really learned from; helping me to appreciate the really good parts.” S.A.

I’m betting that there was at least one or two of these quotes that reminded you of something in your own life. Maybe you have no regrets and that’s great. I was one of those “knuckleheads” (my dad’s word) that made plenty and learned a lot of life’s lessons the hard way.

What Erma Said…

Erma was one of my mom’s favorite writers and she became one of mine as well. Every year about this time I think about her piece, “If I had my life to live over.” If by some odd chance you have never read it I’m posting it here. It’s a great reminder to all of us that time is short and we should treasure every moment.

If I Had My Life to Live Over

by Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

If I had my life to live over, I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television-and more while watching life.

If I had my life to live over, I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

If I had my life to live over, when my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s”.. more “I’m sorry’s” ….but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it … live it…and never give it back.

By the way, remember the two guys in the grocery store I mentioned at the beginning of this post? The older mans regret was not paying enough attention to his education. “I would have studied more and tried harder in school.”

As a former teacher I have heard this over the years from many students. The good thing about learning is that we are NEVER to old to learn.

Whatever your regrets are I hope you learned from your mistakes and have peace in your hearts over things you wish you had done differently.

^” Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 4: 6-7