When You Can't Be the Grandmother You Want To Be -

The Grandmother You Want To Be

I have a dear friend who isn’t allowed to see her grandchildren. Every holiday, birthday and special occasion she spends with one of her children and grandchildren, but not her other. My heart aches for her because her family is divided. (For more about grandchild estrangement click here)

Another friend is suffering from a debilitating illness that keeps her from being the physically active grandmother she once was. She wants to do the things she once did with them, like playing in the pool and going to the park, but her body won’t allow it.

There are so many grandparents in the world who wish they could be involved with their grandchildren, but for one reason or another, it isn’t possible.

Covid and the Pandemic have kept many of us from being the grandparents we want to be.

What, if anything, can we do when life circumstances keep us from spending time with our grandchildren?

Concentrate on what you can do, not what you can’t

We can Facetime. It’s not like being there but it in a pinch it will do. Tip-to avoid the “what to talk about problem” ask lots of questions. You can also play games via facetime. Even babies will play peek-a-boo on a cell phone! Read age appropriate books to them. If they are old enough for chapter books maybe one or two chapters a night. Let them choose the first book and then you get to pick one. That way you can share books you loved as a child and they will enjoy sharing books they love with you!

We can send cards and letters. I treasure my mother’s letters to me when I was in college. Some day your grands will cherish what you write to them. I read a story just this morning about a grandmother who refuses birthday presents. Instead, every year she sends lists of things she wants her grandchildren to do throughout the year. Things like, find a field of wildflowers and pick a bouquet, then give it to someone with a card. What a wonderful, thoughtful gift and a reminder to slow down and enjoy the small things. The granddaughter who shared this said the lists have created memories and she loves looking back at lists from previous years.

We can surprise them with little gifts. If you don’t live close to them you can have it shipped. Whether it’s just their favorite candy bar or a framed photo of some fun moment you shared, a gift is a gift! They love surprises!

Pray for them. They may not understand the power of prayer but if you are a person of faith….you do. Pray daily for each grandchild by name. And while you are at it, pray for the world they are growing up in, too.

When you can’t be the grandmother you want to be, you are still their grandmother and hopefully circumstances will improve and you can go back to being the grandmother you want to be!