Reflections From the Kitchen Sink On Alzheimer’s

Alzheimers

In my Facebook memories today, I saw that six years ago I was spending the night at the hospital with my parents. My mom had been admitted. There was little I could do that night but keep my dad company. Sometimes we just feel helpless with things. Mom wasn’t admitted due to her Alzheimer’s, but it certainly come into play with her treatment. 
I remember one morning of that stay after doctor rounds telling the nurses’ aide I would shower Mom while the staff switched linens. When I had gotten Mom dressed in her stylish hospital gown, I proceeded to lotion her legs and feet. I will never forget her looking down at me sitting in the floor and saying, “Well, aren’t you kind? Thank you for doing this.” She had no clue who I was. She continued and praised me for doing such a good job. That was one of many Alzheimer’s moments that planted in my heart. 
In my memories, too, was a post from the next year when I visited but couldn’t gift Mom or acknowledge the day because it was confusing for her and could swirl emotions in a negative way. Alzheimer’s robs families of so many “normal” times.

Mom passed about a year after my husband did. She and Dad had spent her last few years living with my sister and her husband. There comes a time when the primary caregiver needs help. Dad had done so well managing, but Alzheimer’s is a round-the-clock disease. I’ve watched other family and friends experience the same. It is hard. It is hard if you’re on the inside, and it’s hard if you’re on the outside. 
With my mother’s issues, I began evaluating many choices I was making. Alzheimer’s demonstrates a pattern. Especially as a younger widowed solo mom, I needed to think ahead for my own care just in case. Furthermore, I began my child rearing later than most being in my 30’s when my boys were born. I’ve joked about my boys getting me a nice nursing home room, but sometimes, I’m not joking. I hope some of my health choices and changes will delay or completely eliminate the onset of the disease, but I have to remain cognizant of the potential it may rear its ugly head. 
Mother’s Day has a different tilt when your mom isn’t present—whether it be mentally or physically. Like so many lessons learned since the passing of my husband, this Sunday will be another one of those days I will try to cling to the good memories. I will remember the countless times Mom and I played cards and walked on little adventures when I was a child. I will remember the not-so-gentle nudges from her about my academics. I will remember her sharp wit and how much she enjoyed one-upping my husband in little verbal jousts. There are so many good things Alzheimer’s didn’t steal. 

I pray my kiddos will have a little collection of mom moments they will be able to play in their minds and hearts one day. Life is fast, but I hope we’ve slowed down enough to plant some good seeds in the family memory banks. 

This Mother’s Day, I hope you have sprinkles of joy and have relaxed moments where you can immerse yourself in memories of love. 

I’m sure my memory movie will start right here at the sink with my “Mom” cup in hand. 

Until next time…

Bio-Melinda Campbell is a retired educator who currently focuses her efforts on raising her two teenaged boys, advocating for individuals with special needs and against drunk driving, and serving in her local community. Melinda has been gaining recognition for her writings labeled “Reflections from my Kitchen Sink” since the tragic death of her husband Michael in 2015. In her stories, she shares observations from her daily life including moments she has as a solo parent, a widow, and a woman who battles significant health issues including fibromyalgia and depression. BIG ANNOUNCEMENT- New Kitchen Sink Merchandise-Click Here