Multi-generational Families

Some of my friends moaned and groaned when they got their first AARP letter in the mail, not me. I was excited. Give me a chance to save money on something and I will go for it every time. I love discounts and if AARP can help me save a buck because I’m over 50, more power to them.

Last month they had an article in their magazine called “Do It Yourself Financial Freedom.”  One of the last items on the list of things you could do to save money (according to the author Jane Bryant Quinn) was, “Move in with your kids-the last resort if all else fails. That should be motivation enough to get moving on your own plan for financial success.”

This month in AARP a reader wrote in and responded to that statement and I liked her answer so much that I wanted to share it with you. The letter said in part, “My grown daughters have invited me to live with them when the appropriate time arrives. In this multicultural world, I find Ms. Quinn is overlooking the millions of families who would consider it an honor that their parents would live with them. To all of us, and all of them, blessed are we to be loved and respected.”  Edwyna (Fong) Spiegal

Every family is different and it’s naive to think that everyone in the world rejects multi-generational families living together.  In fact, in many countries it is common for children to live with their parents until they marry, even when they don’t marry until they are in their late twenties or even thirties. There are also many homes where parents and grandparents are welcomed with open arms.

A couple of Sundays ago at church the lady who sits behind me and I were chatting. She informed me that her elderly mother was about to move in with her and her husband. Jean is about my age and works at a local factory. Almost every weekend her grandchildren visit and she and her husband bring them to church. When she told me her mother was moving in with her I commented, “You are going to be even busier, aren’t you?”  She smiled and said, “I am really looking forward to having mom live with us. She’ll be a big help and we enjoy each other’s company.”

So to the lady who wrote the letter to AARP I say, “Amen, sister!”  Michelle Obama’s mother moved in with her family and it’s working out just fine. When it comes to families living together there are no visible boundaries if love abounds!

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2 Comments

  1. My grandfather grew up in a home that included HIS grandmother. When my Mom (his daughter) once mentioned that she and I were dreaming up a plan to live together, he said, “That’s wonderful! Having my grandmother living with us had so many advantages for all of us!” Of course, we just have to convince my Dad that he can indeed handle living with two highly active boys! We’re still working on that.

  2. I followed this thread in the AARP magazine as well. Recently while researching an article for my About.com Grandparents website, I learned that in Asian families it is especially acceptable for grandparents to live with their children. It’s a mark of honor to be asked to live with a child, not a sign of financial desperation, especially in the Korean culture, when parents typically move in with their oldest son.

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