Reflections From The Kitchen Sink: A Look Inside Fibromyalgia
They say pictures can be deceiving, and in the land of invisible illnesses that is indeed the case. Fibromyalgia is one of those maladies. I hate to admit it, but many days, fibro controls my activities. I was diagnosed in 1996, so I’ve been running this race for a while now.
This pic is my grin and bear it look. My pain was a solid 6.875. As much as I hate the phrase “it is what it is,” it is what it is.
The Breakdown of This Fibromyalgia Thing
It is a pain literally and figuratively. I have no idea who came up with the term “invisible illness,” but fibro definitely qualifies because it is naturally hidden; furthermore, I—like a lot of fibro sufferers—know how to conceal the pain whether it be for pride or hopeful distraction.
While there are no words that capture the full essence of this illness, the closest I’ve ever come to describing what fibro feels like is that I am a walking bruise, and every day brings a different level of pain.
The Unpredictability of Pain
I remember so vividly my late husband coming home one day to find me sitting on the end of our bed crying. When he asked what was wrong, I told him, “Even my scalp hurts.” The unpredictability of fibromyalgia can take me from that intense, pain of 11 on a scale of 10 to a moderate level of pain the very next day. I may spend a day or two doing basically nothing or spend the same time cranking out some semi-strenuous physical work. The “okay” days are pretty deceptive to a person with fibro because we often feel we need to play catch up for things we haven’t been able to do and exhaust ourselves causing a loop of crazy physical repercussions in the process.
It just never stops.
What the Medical Field Says
Little is really known about fibromyalgia, and there is much debate within the medical community about the best approach to managing the illness. The symptoms of the disease crossover into many specialities, so even knowing which physician to ask for help is tough. I’ve been to family practitioners, rheumatologists, neurologists, orthopedists, infectious disease specialists, and a mix and mingle of holistic practitioners. There is a desperation to find answers at first. Now, 25 years after my official diagnosis by the infectious disease doc who eliminated some of the other diseases that can manifest in similar symptoms, I have just hit a level of acceptance and work to manage the best I can.
There are some medicines that have been found to be helpful in some fibro patients including Cymbalta and Lyrica. As with all meds, there are side effects though, and it just so happens that I have issues that keep me from taking any of the prescriptions often recommended. Many folks seem to find at least a little relief with one of those pharmaceutical bandaids. There is no cure though, so finding the “you” plan is necessary.
The Symptoms
As I said, a lot of fibromyalgia symptoms mirror those of other illnesses. I have chronic fatigue, joint pain, brain fog, neuropathy, and muscle weakness just to name a few. Basically, I’m a bundle of yuck. I have to admit, when I was a college athlete, I never thought I’d find myself in this kind of shape. I certainly didn’t think I would retire early because of the roller coaster health ride that is most definitely not fun. The stress of all this is mentally draining and is one layer of my depression, too. When Michael was killed, the added responsibilities of life highlighted the physical limitations which then caused more mental stresses which made my body hurt worse which made my mind lower functioning…and so on and so forth…you get the picture.
Regular doctor appointments are kind of a waste of time and money now as there is no light at the end of the tunnel. My chiropractor has spent over 15 years trying to keep me mobile. That’s basically how I deal with things these days. Massages sometimes helps a little. Some dietary choices help. Paying attention to my body and resting as needed is important. I am not as quick to try the magic vitamins and things anymore. There is no telling the money that’s been spent on natural remedies, super vitamins, and such. I have no doubt those things work for some folks; they just haven’t for me.
If people with fibro could share one little tidbit of information, I think it would be that we are trying. Be patient with us. We will get from Point A to Point B eventually.
Oh, and for the record, caffeine isn’t a fibro fan which is why I almost always stop on the second cup unless I’m in a decaf zone. Today is not one of those decaf days, so this cup is it for me this morning.
…until next time…
More information on fibromyalgia can be found here and here.
Melinda Campbell – All Reflections from the Kitchen Sink posts are written by Melinda Campbell. Melinda is a retired educator who currently focuses her efforts on raising her two teenaged boys, advocating for individuals with special needs and against drunk driving, and serving in her local community. New Kitchen Sink Merchandise-Click Here
