Empty Nest Grandmother

This is a guest post by Doreen McGettigan is a freelance journalist, blogger, content writer, ghostwriter and an author. She works part-time as a caregiver for the elderly, most of who are in Hospice Care.

I was a true child bride marrying at age 16 and having my daughter a year later at 17. Yes, I did eventually become a statistic ending up divorced and a single mom.

I didn’t burden my kids with too many rules but one rule that was written in stone was they were not to become parents until they were 21. Guess what? All four kids became a parent at the age of 21. I would love to tell you that I wish I would have told them to wait until they were at least 30, but that would be a lie. I love being a young Mom-Mom.

Granddaughter, Allyson Rae, was born when I was 38 and she was just on time to stop me from suffering horribly from empty nest syndrome because for me it would have been devastating. Several of my cousins and many of my friends were having their first children while I was having my first grandchild.

I could not get enough of that baby girl and had her with me as often as possible. Our family enjoyed her for a few years and then tragedy struck our family. Shortly after my youngest brother’s first child was born he was murdered in a random road rage attack.
Six weeks later my son’s wife was expecting, then my daughter, my other daughter, my sister-in-law, and a cousin. Allyson sat on the back step with me and I asked her how I got so lucky to have all of these babies coming into my life. She looked up at me with the most serious look in her eyes and said, “Uncle David is sending them all from Heaven because he knows how much you love babies and he doesn’t want you to be sad anymore.” She was 4.

I was blessed to be present at so many of the births, planned baby showers, babysat and everyone needed my advice. I loved every minute of it.

My youngest granddaughter will be 5 in June and Allyson will be 20 in September. I feel guilty wishing there was another on the way.

Is it possible to empty nest as a grandmother? I never fully experienced empty nest with my own kids. They all went to school close to home and my first two grandchildren were born while I still had teenagers at home. The house was always full.

Why Don’t They Call?

It happened slowly at first, the calls for advice became less and less frequent. Then my daughters stopped calling me daily to report fevers and even their children’s milestones.

My life has taken on new direction. I remarried in my late 40’s and I am happy doing things I only ever dreamed of doing. Still my feelings were hurt and I wondered what I did wrong. Why didn’t anyone need me anymore?

I finally got my nerve up and asked my oldest daughter. She said I did such a good job showing them by example how to be good moms and they were now looking forward to being the kind of grandmother that I am. She assured me when that day comes they would need my advice once again but not until their kids are at least 30. For now they wanted me to chase my dreams and to enjoy my new life.

For now when our nest starts feeling too empty we simply go pick up a couple of the grand’s. My husband and I want to create as many happy, family memories and spend as much time as we possibly can with all 13 grandchildren.

At our house there is only one rule and that is to be respectful and kind to everyone and thankfully they all are. It’s all about ice-cream for dinner, fresh baked oatmeal cookies for breakfast, singing and dancing till 2 a.m. and lots of laughing. Last August we took five of them aged 8-14 on a road trip to Florida. We had an amazing time and we are now looking forward to spending a week at the beach in June with all of the kids, their spouses and the grands.

I scare myself when I start doing the great-grandchildren math and imagining that it is possible I could possibly be a great-great grandmother.

Did I mention that our youngest son isn’t married yet?

About Doreen— Her first book, Bristol boyz Stomp is the true story of her brother’s random road rage murder. Her second book, The Stranger In My Recliner is the true story of Sophie. She was an 80-year-old homeless woman that Doreen and her husband John took in and took care of for 3-years. She lives in Delaware County, Pa. just south of Philadelphia with her husband John.

Doreen and John have 5 grown children (2 more in heaven) and 13 grand children (their own little cult). Their lives are not boring.