Advice from a Nana Friend

Advice – Written by Teresa Branstetter Kimbel

Comments by Me (Teresa Kindred)

The nana who wrote this is a friend of mine. When she posted this on Facebook I asked her if I could share because we nanas love to give advice, right? Do others always heed our advice? Of course not, but we give it anyway. Read on. I think you will find truth in my friend’s words.

1. It’s harder to keep a small house straight than it is a larger house. (Me – I agree but I would add that keeping a house straight when your kids are young is NOT the most important thing. Yes, a house needs to be clean but I’ve known people who are so obsessive about house keeping that they couldn’t enjoy their children. The world will not end if the toys aren’t put up every night. You might trip on things during the night-I once tripped over a golf club in the middle of the night and about broke my neck! But occasionally letting clean up slide is okay.)

2. Usually, those who have smaller houses wish they had a bigger one. Don’t go larger unless you have the money and can comfortably fit it into your budget. Comparison will steal your joy. (Me – if you find yourself comparing yourself to others on social media do yourself a favor and get rid of the temptation. If you are convinced that other families don’t have problems…you are wrong. If you think everyone has more than you do…you are wrong. If you think money and stuff equals happiness…you are wrong. Study your Bible. The answers to finding peace, love and joy are there, not on social media.

3. With small children, a house is going to be cluttered. Pick it up at the end of the day otherwise, it’ll feel like shoveling snow in a blizzard. (Me-One of my favorite quotes…Cleaning house while kids are still growing is like shoveling snow while it’s still snowing.)

4. A happy child with a cluttered room is more important than a happy mom with an organized house. She’ll be gone in a blink and you’ll wish you had her around to fuss at. (I, personally, never got this memo; wish I had.)

5. Mom usually DOES set the tone. Your house should be the calm in the storm, not the storm in the calm. I remember the day it occurred to me I could CHOOSE my attitude. (Me – If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. BUT Momma can CHOOSE to be happy. If you are not choosing happiness then dig deeper into God’s word. He tells us how to find joy, peace and love.)

6. With teenagers, it’s better to keep the door shut to a messy room and your mouth shut than to keep the door open and let communication shut down. Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. (Me-2 things came to mind when I read this one. Someone once told me that with teens it’s better to open your arms and shut your mouth. Most of the time that is true. The second thing I though of is that words spoken in anger to anyone can be deadly. Words are either neatly packaged gifts with pretty fluffy bows, or they are daggers that can wound deeply, sometimes to the point that the relationship never recovers…choose your words carefully.)

7. A child will eventually tune you out when every conversation is confrontational. He may not remember your words but he will remember your tone of voice. 

8. Don’t punish accidents like spilling the Cheerios. When a child KNOWS right from wrong and chooses wrong, then you punish, but according to the offense. Speak harshly and punish harshly and you will kill the child’s spirit.

9. If a child has enough clothes to wear for one day don’t stress about having an entire season’s worth. Tomorrow isn’t here yet. (Me – If your child’s clothes are clean don’t worry about if they have the latest name brand. Clothes do not make a person…it’s their heart that matters. Mom Tip- This will make neat freaks cringe but occasionally when I knew I had to be at work extra early and I had 5 kids to get ready in the morning I dressed them at night and let them sleep in the clothes they wore to school the next day. They didn’t get them dirty in their sleep and it saved a tremendous amount of time and energy. Yes, they were a little wrinkled but it was worth it to cut down on stress filled mornings!)

10. Be prepared but be flexible. Only God knows the future. Man plans and God laughs. (Me – So true. Looking back over the years when my children were young I know I made mistakes, many, many times. We are human so we can NOT get it right all the time but the guilt from those mistakes can be carried like a boulder on your shoulders. When you make mistakes (and you will) ask for forgiveness and then forgive yourself. Trust me. That boulder of should have, would have, could have is a hard one to bear.