A Long Letter to my Grandchildren
A Long Letter to my grandchildren
Dear Grandchildren,
Where do I begin? 2020 will go down in my personal history book as one of the toughest years ever, and I know I’m not alone. Many people are struggling for lots of different reasons. And it’s August….so it’s not over yet.
Many years ago when my mother found out she had cancer she made the statement, “We’ve had it too good for too long.” What she meant was sooner or later something bad is bound to happen and her cancer diagnosis was the beginning of the toughest year of my life. I had three little children (your parents…the twins didn’t come until later) and a husband who was working full time and trying to finish his degree. If it hadn’t been for family members who stepped up and helped I think I would have drowned in a sea of exhaustion and dirty laundry.
When times are tough you just have to hold on.
I held on to what was good (my sweet husband and kids), developed a stronger prayer life and started to walk to relieve stress. There was a church across from our house and I must have walked around it a zillion times. I’m not going to lie to you, when my mother died she took a piece of my heart with her that I never got back. There’s a scar there now, and one for my dad and every other loved one I’ve had to say goodbye to. While my heart is scarred, it’s grown to encompass 7 grandchildren and my children’s spouses and I am blessed beyond measure with this crazy, loud, loving family.
This year reminds me a lot of the year Mom got sick. We’ve had it too good for too long.
Your Poppa is my rock. In just a couple of days we will have been married 40 years. In those 40 years we have been blessed with good health, until this year. Poppa developed a relentless fever, lost weight and had terrible joint and muscle pain. At first they thought it was Covid because we are in the middle of a pandemic but when he didn’t get better they began testing for other things. (Big shout out to our family doctor, Dr. Thornbury for solving the mystery and sending us to specialists-We love you!)
We ended up at a big hospital in Nashville called Vanderbilt. There are so many sick people here there weren’t enough beds for them all so the first night Poppa sat in a waiting room for 7 hours and then waited on a hospital bed while I sat in the parking lot across the street and prayed.
Because of the pandemic no one was allowed in the waiting area with their loved ones. Most people sat outside or paced around the sidewalk. As I was sitting in the car waiting and praying I got a text from Kelly (my sis-in-law) saying she was on her way. I replied and told her NOT to come that I had no idea when I would get into the hospital or when Poppa would be admitted, but she didn’t listen and came anyway.
She took me to supper, wiped my tears, took me to a hotel and stayed with me. Fed me breakfast and dropped me back off at my car. Poppa was still in the emergency room on a bed waiting to be admitted. If it weren’t for Kelly I would have spent the night in a parking structure sleeping/not sleeping in my car.
Your Aunt Kelly is an amazing woman and I love her dearly. She’s also one of the most energetic, interesting women I’ve ever known. When she picked me up she kept apologizing for the smell in her car. There was a rooster cage in the back seat…no rooster but he had definitely been there. She raises chickens and often gives away eggs and she had an extra rooster that she had taken to a friend but hadn’t had time to take the cage home. Kelly works away from home and had extra clothes (she literally gave me the shirt off her back because I had sweated profusely in mine) and she gave me a new toothbrush and toothpaste she just happened to have in a bag. You can’t fully appreciate a bed, a toothbrush and a clean shirt until you don’t have them. You can’t really appreciate the power of a hug and a shoulder to lean on until you desperately need one and they suddenly appear. I love your Aunt Kelly and Uncle Robert so much!
Poppa was finally admitted and I was allowed to come in almost 24 hours after we arrived.
We got here on Monday and today is Saturday. Late Thursday afternoon we received Poppa’s diagnosis. He has a rare autoimmune disease that causes inflammation. They started treatment yesterday and we are hoping to come home today. Poppa’s disease is not curable but it is treatable. Because they have to lower his immunity (his ability to fight sickness) he won’t be able to have visitors or play with you for awhile….but he will be back riding you around the farm on the train he made for you soon!
Before I close this long letter to my grandchildren there are a few things I want you to remember.
- God is with you. He’s with you in good times and in hard times and even when you can’t see how any good could possibly come from whatever it is you are going through…hold on to His hand. There are lessons in every life experience. You won’t be able to understand the “why” but have faith and just hold on. Faith can move mountains of doubt, fear and uncertainty if you are patient and give it time.
- Just show up. Too many times I have had friends in need and called and asked what I could do to help. There are times when there isn’t anything that can be done, but sometimes just showing up (like Kelly did for me and Aunt Kate…she drove for two hours to take me to lunch and lend her shoulder) is an amazing gift that can make a horrible experience less traumatic. Having Kelly with me that first night is something I will never, ever forget and I will repeat what she taught me by “just showing up.”
- Pray. The power of prayer and knowing you are covered in prayers is beyond comforting. Friends and family from Michigan, Pennsylvania, Oregon, Texas, Georgia, Florida, Alabama and at home (especially our church family) have been praying and we feel it! It’s like being chilled to the bone and having a warm blanket of love wrapped around you. It’s also humbling. “Thank you,” just isn’t enough but it will have to do.
- Take care of your health. There’s nothing Poppa could have done to prevent what he has, some diseases are like that. But as I walk these hospital halls there are people here who didn’t take care of their health and now they are paying a price. It’s so sad because it totally changed the path of their life. Eat your veggies. Exercise and don’t do anything to jeopardize your health!
Poppa has a recovery journey ahead of him but he has a whole lot of loud, noisy cheerleaders who will be there for him (from a distance until he’s stronger) as we learn to navigate our new normal.
And one more thing, you are loved! You are the reason I am writing these letters….so that you never forget that the power of love is passed down through the generations. It never ends when you have faith and you are heaven-bound. Love is eternal.
Nana
This is a blog hop! Please link up and leave a comment!
Thank you Karen!
Thank you Mitch! Have a great week!
You too Marie!
Thanks, Patrick!
Such a beautiful letter. Very lovely. Wow. So deep. Sending you thoughts and prayers.
Now are you deliberately trying to make me cry? SHEESH! I loved it though… maybe I should copy that and send it to my grandkids/kids etc. It’s really good. Have a wonderful day and thanks for sharing your pictures with us also. Be healthy and stay safe!
Sending prayers and love.. This was an absolutely beautiful letter.
Such a thoughtful message, just beautiful!
Yes, it does. Love them soooo much!
Thank you Pat, everyone has been so sweet. We appreciate it so much!
Thank you Lydia, that’s so kind!
Just read your post about Tsunami. I am so so sorry. Thank you for prayers for my husband. We appreciate it more than anyone can know. It means so much. Teresa
Thank you so much Judee! The kindness of friends has been overwhelming. We appreciate it! Teresa
Thank you so much! We appreciate each and every prayer spoken on our behalf! hugs back to you, Teresa
A beautiful letter, Teresa.
Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
((hugs))
such a beautiful heart felt letter at such a difficult time. I can see that your faith is solid and will help pull you through all of this. Good health and blessings to your husband.
What a beautiful letter Teresa – one your family will treasure for years to come.
A friend of mine recently went through a very similar experience/diagnosis so everything you wrote really hits home.
I am praying for you and your precious husband.
Long-term illness and the changes it brings are challenging but the love you two have for God and one another will sustain you.
Hang in there. You are blessed and you are loved!
Nice letter to the kids. Congrats on the pending 40th anniversary and I hope your husband is feeling better by the time you celebrate it. Glad you got help and he has a diagnosis. Take care.
I am so sorry to hear your husband is ill, but happy it wasn’t the dreaded covid and that he will be able to manage his disease with treatment. I’m glad you were able to stay with him for support and that you had the support of family and friends. I will keep you both in my prayers!
I know your grandchildren will treasure this letter, for it comes from your heart.
What a thoughtful and sweet message. I agree, there are many, many people wanting life to get back to normal and that’s just not the way life works. Blessings to you for your kind words! Teresa
Teresa, thanks for sharing your insightful story. So many of us want our lives to get back to “normal”, not accepting that life consists of many seasons that are “tough”. But these are the times we learn to appreciate the times that are “too good”. I hope and pray those too good times return to your family soon.
Thank you Rigdons! We appreciate it so much!
Of course I remember! The kids enjoyed the pool for many years. There are trees growing in it now. Hope y’all are well!
Thank you so much my long time friend! I love you!
I know you were with me in spirit and I could feel the prayers!
Thank you, Jo Ann. I know that there are hundreds of families all over the world going through their own “health journey” I saw just a few as I walked the halls at Vanderbilt and this morning remembering them in my prayers. Hugs to you Jo Ann. I know you miss him so much.
Hi Pam, I will add your son and your family to my prayer list. Vanderbilt is a wonderful place but walking the halls and looking in the rooms is such a humbling experience. My heart ached for all the families represented there. Thank you so much for your comment, and your concern. One day at a time…..
Thanks for sharing such a powerful story and personal letter. Praying this journey will see more evidences of grace and healing. I know the power of the “just show up” lesson and believe everyone needs to learn it. We can get caught up in believing someone else will or some ministry of the church will respond in such situations, but the Lord means for us to be His hands and feet, his arms and ears.
Our son got a surprise diagnosis of lymphoma as a result of a fluke discovery of a tumor in his sinuses a few months ago and is being treated at Vanderbilt Cancer Institute by their amazing team go doctors. He and our DIL know the halls of Vanderbilt well.
So sorry Teresa. We were a few months from our 40th anniversary when Rondal got his diagnosis. I know all too well about sitting in Vanderbilt all alone, 3 weeks at one time and sleeping in the “Devil Chair” for weeks at Vanderbilt and the Medical Center. Prayers sent for restored health and comfort on this journey????
So sorry Teresa. We were a few months from our 40th anniversary when Rondal got his diagnosis. I know all too well about sitting in Vanderbilt all alone, 3 weeks at one time and sleeping in the “Devil Chair” for weeks at Vanderbilt and the Medical Center. Prayers sent for restored health and comfort on this journey????
So sorry I couldn’t be there for you..but you all are in my prayers always! Thanks for your beautiful letter.
So sorry I couldn’t be of help…but you all are in my prayers always… Love you so much! Thanks for the beautiful letter.
I love you and Bill so very much!! You two are such great examples for us all- in many ways??
God hears all these prayers and so many are sending them up?????? I’m here if you ever need to talk
My dear friend!! Give Bill a germ-less hug?
Prayers for you and Bill and family. I remember times when you all helped me and my son Jimmy Dan. Bill took him to school and back for me everyday for a year and I appreciated that so much. He really enjoyed coming to your house and playing with your kids ,especially in the pool. Thank you so much for being there for us and I will be praying for Bill and you. We may not live close anymore but we are still close at heart.
Sending thoughts and prayers! You have a large caring support team!
Tim and Laura Rigdon
Thank you Demetra!
And we love you sister!
Love you Nancy Lou and Billy Joe!
Love to you an Bill!! If you need anything i am a text or chat away!!!
Love to both Billy Joe an Nancy!!
I love you and your family,love reading the truths that you wright learn so much from you ,prayers for you and Bill,love how you stand by those that has turmal.love being your and Bills sister in Christ.
PRAYERS TO YOU AND THE FAMILY.