Twins! Grandchildren in N.I.C.U.

This is Part 1 of a 2 part guest post by Rena McDaniel. Rena blogs at Diary of an Alzheimers Caregiver. Rena is a 24/7 Alzheimer Caregiver, RA patient, Writer, Blogger, Wife, Mom, Grandma, avid traveler and Social Media addict. She writes about being a caregiver while dealing with her own RA diagnosis, about Midlife and how it affects her beautiful, crazy family on a daily basis.

TWINS!

Before my twin grandchildren were born in November 2014, I had never been to a N.I.C.U. in my life. N.I.C.U. stands for Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Of course, I had seen them on television shows where every problem is solved in an hour or less. The real N.I.C.U is something that which nightmares are made of. The Director of the unit had come to talk to us before our first visit. He explained the situation and tried to prepare us for the days, weeks and months ahead. When you are thinking days to hear the word months is heartbreaking. Some days, it would feel like years.

There were no words that could have lessened the shock of walking into the N.I.C.U. that very first time. They are first off very strict and regimented. They have to be, but it can be very intimidating at first. We were told to take our coats, purses, jewelry and lock them in a locker. Our phones had to be removed from their cases, scrubbed down and inserted into sealed baggies. This is to remove the germs while still allowing you to take those precious first pictures. You don’t get those beautiful newborn pictures in the N.I.C.U. you have to take your own.   Scrub Down

Your first step after the lockers is the “tub”. It is just like what you have seen outside of operating rooms on TV. They have scrub brushes where you are to scrub your skin raw and clean anything that could possibly be under your nails. You then pick up the phone beside the tub and tell the operator which baby or babies you are there to see. In our case, my daughter could choose up to four people other than her or her husband to give bracelets too. Every time you visit the N.I.C.U. you must have this bracelet and also a picture ID.

That very first time it was like entering the command center of the S.S. Enterprise. Beeping, bells and humming are a constant sound in a room full of artificial air and light. There were pods set up in every available space. Every spot filled with these beautiful alien-like beings in different stages of their growth and development. Some had large LED lights right over the top of their incubators while they wore thick eye masks. We would learn that these were the babies that had tested positive for jaundice and we would have our own light over my granddaughter off and on for awhile. Some babies, including ours, were on ventilators to breathe for them until they could manage this on their own. Little IV’s stuck in babies feet or even sometimes pic-lines inserted into their little heads. They lay naked except for their diapers flat on their backs. Feeding tubes running into their mouths or their noses.

This lasted for about 4 weeks. The day our daughter could finally put clothes on them was such a huge celebration. One day everything would look great and then the next day there would be some sort of set back. We dealt with so many of these over the 7-8 weeks that our babies were there, it was an emotional roller coaster. One would be doing good the other would begin to struggle. Over and over until you think that it will never end…but it does, eventually.

Little milestones were huge stepping stones in the N.I.C.U. Going from the ventilator to a C-pap, then back again and finally moving down to just oxygen. From the feeding tube to just one bottle a day then two and so on. Getting them to keep and maintain certain temperatures. Incubators to open air cribs, level 2 to level 1.

So many things most new moms never have to think about. In our case we had 2 babies to stress and to worry about. Two to cheer for and to celebrate. One whipping his way through like a champion, breaking records and hitting milestones long before it was ever thought possible. The second, no less impressive, clawing and scratching her way up that ladder right behind her brother. Taking two steps forward and one step back at times but always moving.

We learned about heart murmurs and brain bleeds. Pounds, ounces, and milliliters were our main topic of conversations. No, they all don’t grow at the same rate. We didn’t know that either. Our grandson came home two days before Christmas while his sister needed to stay a few days longer. Then you are stuck with the gut-wrenching decision do you go see him or her which one needs you more. You feel guilty whichever you choose. My granddaughter came home 5 days after Christmas.

My grandson is growing fast and already at about 12lbs. He has hit all of his marks earlier than expected. My granddaughter has what is called “Second Twin Syndrome”. While hopefully one day this will all be just a distant memory she needs just a little more help. She wears two little leads just under her breasts that are hooked to a heart monitor. A machine that will send an alarm at the first sign of trouble. She also wears oxygen constantly, just a small amount but it is there just the same. I have never seen her without this hose, not in her whole 3 months but that is my hopeone day. Nothing attached, no machines, no lines just sweet little grandbaby with her big smiles and evil looks.

I will never forget our time in the N.I.C.U. While it was terrifying, sad and emotional it was also loving, happy and celebrational. It’s not where you want to end up but if you do, you thank God every day for it. The nurses who work in the N.I.C.U. are such very special people and THANK YOU just doesn’t seem enough. If you are looking for a great charity to support this year may I suggest the *March of Dimes* because the little things they did for mom and babies we such amazingly beautiful gestures that we will never forget. Hat’s for Thanksgiving, a knitted blanket for both just little things in and of themselves but miracles to a scared family just wanting a little bit of normal.

             Like I say on my blog, “Remember to appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy and deal with the rest!”