The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year- 2021
The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year
The end of last year and the first half of this year was so rotten it was putrid. Thankfully, Bill can’t remember it but I still have flashbacks that bring me to tears. Now it’s December again and while most people are trying to figure out a new normal, I feel frozen, like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Last year I had all my decorations in place, Christmas plans lined out and then Covid happened. December 21st Bill went to the hospital and even though I didn’t know it… it would be April 6th before we got to bring him home. Even after we brought him home there were weeks of therapy and struggles ahead of us.
So every time I hear of a friend getting Covid my stomach clenches and I prepare for the worst. If they have been vaccinated I don’t worry as much but there are so many who still aren’t vaccinated. I know it’s their choice but I worry and pray and worry some more, because that’s really all I can do. I’ve tried talking, pleading, and writing about it, but there are still those who say “no” to getting the shot.
School has started back and I don’t know how it is for your grandchildren but it seems like mine have caught every germ coming and going which makes it hard on their moms and dads. It’s like all the germs waited outside their masks until they took them off and then they said “ATTACK!”
Globally, as of 4:08 pm CET, 9 December 2021, there have been 267,184,623 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 5,277,327 deaths, reported to WHO.
2021 has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year and we don’t know (or trust) that the next one will be better.
5,277,327 deaths means a lot of families have lost loved ones and those numbers don’t include the long haul Covid folks and those like Bill, who are better but not back to where they were. Still, we are thankful and blessed and we know it.
As the months of this year rolled by I stared at the tree in our den, or maybe I didn’t stare at it, I glared at it. It reminded me of Bill going to the hospital and not having Christmas in 2020. December 26 (the twins birthday) was the night they placed him on a ventilator and I didn’t get to see him for a month.
Christmas and especially our Christmas tree reminded me of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. I have said all along I wasn’t going to decorate the tree. It’s an old pre-lit that stopped working years ago. A couple of times Bill and I talked about just putting it in the attic or pitching it in the burn pile.
Then today I found something in my van that the children from church made for Thanksgiving. It said “Blessed.” I brought it in and hung it on the tree and jokingly told Bill I had decorated the tree. He looked at me and said “We are blessed” and even though I knew it, his words resonated deep within me. We. Are. Blessed.
Even when life doesn’t go as planned. Even when people we love get sick, injured or die. We. Are. Blessed. Because. He. Lives.
Remembering My Mother at Christmas
My mother had a framed poem in her bathroom that said,
“And what is life? A crazy quilt;
Sorrow and joy, and grace and guilt,
With here and there a square of blue
For some old happiness we knew;
And so the hand of time will take
The fragments of our lives and make,
Out of life’s remnants, as they fall,
A thing of beauty, after all.
— Douglas Malloch, “The Romance of the Patchwork Quilt in America.”
I read this poem for years before I realized they were talking about a real quilt. There is really such a thing as a crazy quilt. It’s a quilt with no pattern, just irregular patches. I had always assumed the poem was just about life but it made more sense now that I knew that crazy quilts were a real thing. And what a gorgeous comparison the author of the poem made when he compared life to a crazy quilt. I can’t help but think my quilt would be a lot crazier than some of yours….but you never know.
My life is a beautiful crazy quilt. I may not like the sorrow but I love the joy and I’m thankful for the grace and memories. When it’s all pieced together with faith, hope and love it is exquisite. The more I thought about my beautiful life the more I knew what I had to do.
I looked around my house and started grabbing pictures. I might not want a Christmas tree but I definitely wanted a Blessing Tree. It may not win any contests or prizes but it suits me and the year we have had. I look at it now and don’t feel sadness for what we lost. I feel love and peace for what we have.
At the top of the tree I placed a cross, which was pretty heavy and it fell out and landed on my head. I tucked it in further between the branches and then placed a photo of my mom and dad at the top. Little did they know when they had 2 children that we would give them 8 grandchildren who continue to bless us with grandbabies (Thomas and Madi are next!) Then I placed a photo of our family and my brothers family. After that there were ball pictures, birthday photos, and lots and lots of weddings.
Think I’ll turn the lights out and listen to the quiet. And even though it’s been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year I praise God and pray for others who are struggling with memories, emotions and loss.
My blessing tree is blessing me. Thank you, Jesus
