Social Media Creepers: Reflections From The Kitchen Sink

Social Media Creepers

Okay, ladies, we’ve got to talk. (And, yes, I know you men are out there. This problem exists for men, too, but there seems to be a higher occurrence with us girls. You boys just switch some pronouns for me and carry on, okay? Thanks!) 

Girls, there are several of you out there who are in vulnerable spots. New widows and ladies just out of relationships and such. Hear me when I say this: not all friend requests are friend requests!! Holy cow, there are some folks skimming social media all the time looking for the ladies who can be exploited. Hold on to your wigs because I’m going to break it down in detail for you. 

It used to be scammers would check the obit columns to find people who would be desperately lonely, therefore, emotionally pliable. I saw it happen once when I was a teen. An elder family member passed away suddenly, and all of a sudden there was a woman “helping” the widower make decisions including selling a home, moving to another community, and cutting people out of the will. It took no time for that to happen, and that man died without the presence of family nearby and left every tangible memory and the few remaining dollars to this stranger. 

Social media has taken this to a new level. Not only do people pounce on marital status changes, but in the land of all things immoral, these people don’t even wait for someone to grieve one day before they slide into the friend request zone and send messages. 

I have said many times the last few years that I’m desperately lonely but not desperate. You’ve got to stay on your A-game, girls. 

“Dr. Sam” who attended “the university of America” (capitalization errors on purpose there) isn’t a real doctor. “Frank Robert”—two first names linked often seems to be a giveaway, too—isn’t really a “colonel in the us Army.” His head isn’t even the right size on his full-body profile pic that’s been photoshopped! And Lenny who says he knew your late husband in fourth grade thinks you’re going to rake it in with that big life insurance policy or civil suit settlement that the vast majority of us don’t get! I don’t want to be a Negative Nelly, but these people aren’t really in your corner even though they are willing to try to play the compassion card. 

My most recent funny—well, it isn’t funny…you get my point though—message came via Instagram. “Killian” told me it was nice to meet me. Ha ha ha!! (1.) We’ve never met. (2.) He has the same face as a leadership guru my husband used to follow. “Killian” borrowed Grant Cardone’s face. Hmmm… 

There are so many “you have a beautiful smile” messages and “how are you today” questions. Blah blah blah. 

One of my electronic suitors infiltrated multiple widow groups with a different name in each. Same photos. Same career info. Same wid sob story. Sam-Fred-Joe Bob was not a teacher whose wife died after a long battle with cancer. He didn’t drive a BMW or have a beach home. He wasn’t really looking for his “Chapter 2.” He was looking for a sugar mama. Period. End of story. 

Perhaps this snarky visit at the sink has been too direct. If so, I’m sorry. Even in my most vulnerable moments, my inability to trust people protected me. I’ve seen a lot of folks fall victim though to fast talkers. There’s even one widowed guy (like fore real widowed) who has widowed women sending him money every month because they feel sorry for him because he’s a single dad with a little girl. At last report, he pulls in about 5x my income, and he sits at the house. 

Usually, if you’re one of us who didn’t have a pot of gold at the end of the yucky rainbow, people move out of the inboxes as quickly as they move in. Those of you who have a designation of widow that equates to obvious dollar signs—military officer wid, widow of a victim of an accident involving a large corporation, someone who posts pics of lavish vacations and/or big home stuff—you girls have more buzzards circling. Whichever group you’re in, just please proceed with caution. I’ve got some friends who have found special someones who are real guys with real hearts who really love, so I’m not saying it can’t happen. I’m saying most likely it’s not going to be Mr. “Helo beautiful” who sent that sweet affirmation in a DM. 

Now, my snark and I will get a refill of coffee and tackle the day. Big hugs to those of you who may be feeling a bit lonely today and to those who have experienced dishonesty in social media. Hang in there. You’re not really alone. 

…until next time…

Melinda Campbell – All Reflections from the Kitchen Sink posts are written by Melinda Campbell. Melinda is a retired educator who currently focuses her efforts on raising her two teenaged boys, advocating for individuals with special needs and against drunk driving, and serving in her local community. New Kitchen Sink Merchandise-Click Here?

For more NanaHood thoughts on Facebook check out these two articles. https://nanahood.com/how-many-friends-do-you-have

https://nanahood.com/grandkids-dont-want-post-facebook