Helping Those Who Hurt

How do we Biblically respond to suffering?

I decided to do some research and here is what I found.

Remember David? Surely there is no suffering greater than losing a child. When David was told he was going to lose his son he prayed and fasted and pleaded with God over his child’s life. But to no avail.

Before my mother died I did the same thing David did. I prayed. I begged God to spare her life. To no avail.

It took me longer than David, but eventually I realized that the next step is surrendering to God’s will.

2 Samuel 18.20

When David found out that his child was dead he rose washed put on clean clothes asked for some food and went to worship God.

It is often too easy to separate ourselves from God and the family of God when we hurt, but that isn’t what God would want us to do.  After my mother’s death a good friend reminded me to give thanks for my blessings. I had known my mother’s love for 33 years and we had enjoyed a closeness that many mothers and daughters never have. I was focusing on my loss, not my blessings. It’s easy to do, but when the grieving subsides a little, we need to remember to praise God for all the wonderful gifts he does bless us with.

How do we Biblically respond to those who are suffering?

First, by knowing how NOT to respond.

1) When in doubt about what to say, don’t say anything! Here’s my rule: When in doubt, open your arms and shut your mouth.

I remember after my mother died a lady asking me why the casket was closed. It was closed because it was my mother’s wish, but I didn’t tell her that. Instead I had to stifle the urge to tell her it was none of her business.

Remember Job? If anyone was suffering, it was Job. He’d lost everything. His friends came to visit and what was the first thing they did? They sat with him in silence for seven days. That’s right. Total silence for seven days. Now that’s what I call being a good listener!

Here are some things you can do.

1) Offer your presence to the person who is grieving.

Be there. Just spend time with the person(s) hurting and listen. It’s amazing how few people really understand the art of listening. Be still, focus on the other person and let them do all the talking. Nod from time to time. Cry with them. Hold their hand but don’t compare them others or offer cliches like, “It will get better with time.” No one wants to hear that.

2) Offer your practical help.

Clean their house, wash their car, pick up their groceries, cook them a meal. If they have children, offer to sit with them and let them go out for a drive. In short, do whatever they need you to do.

3) Offer your prayers

Really pray for them. Stop and pray the moment you see them. Pray for them when they cross your mind. Be specific ask for healing of their heart. Ask for Jesus to make His presence real in their life.

Finally, remember it takes a broken heart a long time to even begin to heal. Be patient. Be an encourager and keep praying.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a 1,000 winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled light
I am the soft star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.
Anonymous