Gratituesday-Giving Thanks for God’s Plan for Me

Today one of my sons looked at me and said, “I don’t think I’m ever going to have children. You seem sad 90 percent of the time.”

I opened my mouth to reply and then decided there was no point in trying to explain.

What I wanted to say but didn’t was….

I am NOT sad all the time but it’s impossible for you to see me as a whole, complete person. You look at me and see “mom.”  There is more to me than motherhood. I am your father’s wife and best friend. I have wonderful friends (that I have sadly neglected at times due to being a mom) I have work and hobbies. I have years and years of memories and plans for the future (if God so wills) Yes, there are times when I am sad, but what you are perceiving now as sadness is actually worry, and if you figure out how to stop a mom of five from worrying, you should bottle it and sell it because you’ll make a fortune!

What you can’t understand yet is that along with the challenges and worries of parenthood comes the greatest joy I’ve ever known. Of all the things I’ve done in my life, none compare to being a wife and a mother. I wouldn’t trade the diapers, bottles, indigestion (mine from worrying) tears, and sleepless nights for all the high heels, party dresses and glamor in the world. Why? Because along with the bad (and most of it isn’t really that bad…even 24 hours of hard labor doesn’t stop most women from having another child) comes the good…the hugs, kisses and dandelion bouquets. The artwork on the refrigerator. The birthday parties. The “I love you, mom” on the way out the door to prom. High school graduation. The first job. The joy of watching your child fall in love and marry and then one day, watching your child hold their child in their arms…and it starts all over again.

You may decide not to have children and that’s okay. It’s not for everyone. In fact, there are lots of people in the world who shouldn’t have children , but I don’t think you are one of them. Deciding to be a parent is a personal choice and one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Sadly some folks give no more thought to becoming parents than they do getting a puppy. Believe me, a puppy is a huge responsibility but it doesn’t even come close to having a baby.

My hope and prayer for you is that you will keep an open mind and give it some thought in the next few years. Take your time and keep in mind that if you find the right person to share your dreams with, having a child together is one of those life experiences that can’t be equaled.  Being a parent enhances your life and your awareness of the world. You see things you were totally unaware of and learn things about yourself and others that you wouldn’t otherwise. But besides all that when it comes right down to it, it’s the only way we humans can make a miracle, and babies are miracles straight from the arms of God.

That’s what I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t.

Instead, I shut my mouth and thought back to when I was your age  I remember clearly telling my mother, “I’ll never have kids.”

Normally I don’t like to admit when I am wrong. It’s a Bell trait that has been passed down through the ages and lives on in me and my children, but this time I will gladly admit I was wrong. And surprisingly enough, that wasn’t the only thing I’ve been wrong about. You see when I was young I had a plan. I was going to leave my small town, move to the city and set the world on fire. Well, I moved to the city but the only thing I sat on fire was the oven in our apartment. I met Bill, fell in love and the rest as they say is history.

I’m so glad God had a plan for me that was better than the one I had for myself.

Have you ever heard the Yiddish proverb, “Man plans, God laughs.” When I told my mother I wasn’t going to have children God probably laughed. I can almost hearing him say, “Girl, have I got a surprise in store for you.”

And what a wonderful surprise it was……