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When Saying “Goodbye” Breaks Your Heart

I have always loved the ocean and every time I visited the beach, if it was possible. My cousin, Martha, came and stayed with us. We walked for miles along the shore and talked about everything from our jobs to our families. We shared every intimate detail of our lives and placed our complete love and trust in one another. If there is a problem with loving someone too much, it’s that when you lose them the goodbye is so painful it colors your world an ugly shade of gray.

waves

Today I am looking at the ocean we both loved and it’s as if Jesus is crying with me. I know she’s in a better place. I know she’s no longer suffering. I know that I have years of precious memories of time spent with her that I can think about in the days and weeks to come. I know.It will eventually, but not now.

As I try to prepare myself for her visitation service and funeral, none of that helps. She has been in my life since I was six months old. How can I tell her goodbye?

Cancer-0 Martha-Winner

If you have visited NanaHood over the years you have probably seen pictures of Martha and read about her decades long battle with breast cancer. This is one of my all time favorite pictures of her. It was made this past February when we went to the Keys. We had so much fun and I’m so thankful she felt like going.

Martha

Even though she’s gone I still don’t think cancer won. It never took her faith, her sense of humor or her love for others. Give the Pink Gloves and trophy to the toughest woman I’ve ever known. Martha Temple Todd 1956-2015.

There’s a new angel in heaven and she will be waiting for me on the other side.



 

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51 Comments

  14. Awww I’m not going to say sorry for your loss instead I’m going to say so happy for your gain! Such wonderful memories you must have!!! My Mom had breast cancer when I was about 11 and she was in her 40’s I think and you know what she didn’t leave us until she was 84… God blessed us & her for having her all that time. You’ll have as much time in your hearts!!!

  18. I am so, so sorry for your loss! I remember sending prayers your way after reading one of your earlier posts about Martha. The photo you shared is really lovely. This is a beautiful tribute.

  20. Awe, I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a beautiful woman, from the inside out. Cheers to her!

  25. Well said, Teresa!!! My only Joy these past few days is knowing I will see her again in heaven. Today’s weather was amazing! Tears of rain from heaven that stopped long enough for us to go to the grave side. Then they started again as if telling us “don’t linger here at Martha’s grave. She is enjoying her new home in paradise.”

  31. Thank you sweet Indah! I am proud to know you! Continue the fight for yourself and for others who are battling on!

  34. Nana.. I am crying reading this and all I can say is that Martha was a great fighter! Her undying love and courage will stay forever in our heart as well. And I will continue to fight, fight, fight against breast cancer.. Big hugs..

  36. Like the others, I am terribly sorry for your loss. But, as you have so eloquently stated, for the Christian the disease in never the victor. The life, the testimony of that life, and the faith lived by that life claim the victory over the disease and death. May the God of all creation wrap you in His arms and give you strength, comfort, and the peace that passes all understanding.

  39. I am SO sorry for your loss. I remember your trip to the Keys and the joy it brought you. I am sending you a HUGE cyberhug!

  45. I’m so so sorry for your loss. I know how deeply it touches when you lose someone you loved very much.

  47. So sorry for your loss! Hold those memories close and know that you are being thought of and prayed for!

  48. I am so sad! Looking forward to seeing the tributes to Martha tonight and tomorrow, but sad at our loss st the same time. She was my mentor and my inspiration as a Christian woman. I don’t want to let her go….but will try and teach others what she has taught me!
    As I am wiping away tears I will say again, “I love you Martha!”

  49. Sympathy goes out to you and your family. Having such wonderful memories will help sustain the pain of grief you will be experiencing in the days and weeks ahead. My prayers will be lifted to you.

  50. I’m so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your memories are comforting you right now and I hope you’re able to hold them tightly for a long time to come.

  51. I am so sorry for your loss, but what a soul she had. I can see it through her picture. And, she will be near you. You wll feel her power. But it doesn’t make the loss of them in this world any easier. My thoughts are with you!

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