Cancer-You Never Forget

Today is the anniversary of the day my mother died….24 years ago. It’s a day I will never forget no matter how many years pass. Contrary to what some folks say, you don’t get over the death of a loved one. You. Just. Don’t.

After enough time passes, you learn to live with it. You simply have to because you don’t have a choice.

My mother was only 51 years old when she died of metastatic colon cancer. For years I tortured myself with “What if?”

What if we had found it sooner?

What if she had gone to a different doctor?

What if there were treatments available we didn’t know about or try?

Every year on her birthday, December 23rd, I always think about old she would be if she were still here. I think about all the years cancer cheated her out of…all the grandchildren she never got to meet….and every year I HATE cancer more.

me and mom

As the years have passed I have more reasons to hate cancer. It has attacked many of my friends and family members. Today I am hating it not just for my mom, but for my friend Char.

Char and I have known each other for many years. She’s my Go To Gal with a tech problem and she’s never failed to help me. I’ve known her since before her children were born and rejoiced with her when she adopted her first and gave birth to the second and third. Char is my friend and today I’m hurting for her as she and her family are driving to California for the funeral of  her younger sister.

This is a paragraph Char wrote about Sarah, her sister.

“Not a day has gone by in the 38 years since I became Sarah’s big sister that I haven’t loved her and wanted to protect her and make things better for her. That moment long ago sealed the deal, and I have always. Always. ALWAYS wanted to be the best big sister to her that I could be. I wanted to take away the bad, fix the frustrating, offer wisdom and perspective and give good advice. And finally, for the last five years, I have wanted to take away the horrible, awful, damned cancer that took over her body and wouldn’t go away. I was her big sister – I should have been able to fix it, right?”

Just reading those words brought tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart. Oh how I wish someone, anyone, could “fix cancer.”

I don’t know if you are familiar with an organization called Stand Up To Cancer, but these folks are working hard. I know other groups are working for a cure as well and if you support them, that’s great. I don’t care WHO discovers the cure, only that it happens and hopefully sooner rather than later.

I signed up for Stand Up To Cancer’s newsletter and today I received the following message.

Stand Up To Cancer is here to halt cancer in its tracks. And we’re fighting for a simple reason — our loved ones. Because the sad truth is that nearly every one of us will be touched by cancer someday.

Elizabeth O’Connor was just 31 years old, a healthy mother pregnant with her second child, when she heard those haunting words, “you have cancer.” But she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

This movement is about finding great leaps forward in medical science and technology — and then having the resources to bring those better cures and treatments to patients faster. Since our last TV special in 2012, we’ve taken giant steps forward:

1. A drug being developed to fight advanced breast cancer has been given “breakthrough therapy” (BT) status by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) after the SU2C Breast Cancer Dream Team showed a dramatic improvement in survival in hormone receptor-positive breast cancer patients taking it. FDA BT status helps expedite the development of especially promising medicines.

2. The SU2C Pancreatic Cancer Dream Team developed a combination drug treatment, which has helped extend the lives of patients. Now FDA-approved, this combination is now a first-line therapy for advanced pancreatic cancer.

3. The SU2C-CRI Immunology Dream Team is using patient immune systems to attack cancer, and showing significant effects against metastatic melanoma.
None of this would be possible without an active community of supporters like you, people who come together to drive us forward.

Elizabeth owes her life to the kinds of research that SU2C funds. Watch her story now: Elizabeth’s Story.

I chose to support SU2C because it’s working hard on ALL types of cancer. Every kind is as awful and potentially deadly as the next and I hate them all.

Please, if you or someone you love has fought this disease or is fighting now, consider contributing to SU2C in their honor. Let’s end this nightmare and wake up in a world where cancer no longer exists.

Until that time….Char, I love you and am holding you close in prayer.

Teresa

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6 Comments

  1. I’m so sorry about your Mom and your friend’s loss. I absolutely agree that we never get over the grief of losing a loved one. Thanks for sharing this movement with us. There is a lot to be done to fight this battle and none of us can be too vigilant. Hugs to you…

  2. Oh me, so sorry about your friend and aunt. Thank you for your comment and here’s hoping for a cure soon!

  3. I’m sorry for your friend’s loss and pray for comfort for her and the rest of the family.

    I lost a good friend to pancreatic cancer one week ago today and three months after losing my aunt to ovarian cancer. I praise SUTC for what they’ve achieved.

  4. Thanks for commenting Becky. Been thinking about you. It’s hard to lose a mom….prayers my friend.

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