6 Ways To Be Closer To Your Teenage Grandchild

6 Ways to be closer to your teenage grandchild

Last week a lady messaged me and told me she had read an article of mine about being estranged from your grandchild. She went on to say that while her situation was different she would like my help with something. I messaged her back and told her I would try. She said that she and her husband (not using their names to protect her privacy) had been very close to their grandson and they still wanted to be but since he became a teenager (he is 19) he had stopped coming to visit. She was hurt and wanted to know if there was anything she could do because they missed him so much.

I pondered her question and thought about my own grandchildren. I see the younger ones much more than I do the oldest so I understood how she felt. What follows is what I told her plus some other suggestions I thought of after I had already messaged her back.

6 Ways to be closer to your teenage grandchild

1. Communicate with them the way they prefer to communicate. Times have changed and if your grandchild prefers texting to phone calls, text. If they have an email address, ask if you can send them email now and then. Meet them on their ground but don’t flood them with constant contact. The teen years, especially after they start driving, are the years of self discovery. They need space to figure out who they are and where they are going.
2. That doesn’t mean you can’t communicate the old-fashioned way, too. Phone calls on birthdays or special occasions can go a long way towards keeping the lines of communication open. Also, thoughtful cards and handwritten notes occasionally are special. I still have a few cards my grandmother gave me on my birthday and just seeing her handwriting never fails to warm my heart with thoughts of her goodness and love. Before email and texting people wrote handwritten letters. Some of my most prized possessions are letters from my parents while I was in college. Send your grandchild a letter and share a photo of a special event from when they were young. Not many things say “I love you” more than sharing memories that involve you and your grandchild.
3. Offer to take your teenage grandchild to dinner or shopping and let them pick the day. This piece of advice comes with a warning, if you have a budget make sure they know to choose a restaurant you can afford, and if you take them shopping it’s even more important to set a limit to the amount they can spend.
4. What are your teens favorite bands? What concert would they love? Buy tickets for yourself and them and let them take a friend. You might not enjoy the band but you will enjoy watching them have fun. The car ride to the concert is your opportunity for talking. If you went to concerts when you were younger show them pictures and talk to them about music. Music really is the universal language and can help connect generations.
5. Do not take your teenage grandchild’s absence personally. It’s hard, I know, but at that age it’s” all about them.” Try to remember what you were like as a teenager. Not all, but most of us were some what self-centered during those years. Many teens juggle school, work, friends and family life and it can be overwhelming.
6. Pray-It’s a scary world and teens face difficult choices daily. They need the gift of your prayers more than they know. One day they will appreciate those prayers. I know without a doubt that my mother’s and grandmother’s prayers carried me through many rough patches. Even though you don’t see your teenager as much as you did when they were younger you are still an important part of their lives. You are their story teller, their memory keeper and their prayer warrior. What you do with your life is still an important example to them, don’t forget that. If you keep the door open to them and do your best to remain in contact with them, one day they will come back to you bringing more with them. #teenagegrandchild #Nana #grandparent