What a Baby’s Firsts Can Teach Us

By Rebecca Faye Smith Galli

A Baby’s Firsts

A year ago my grandbaby, Blakely Faye, was the size of the papaya, still warmly tucked in her mother’s womb. Today she had the most unusual breakfast I’ve ever heard of for an eight-month-old: avocado and black beans.

Here’s what she thought of it:

   

I can’t stop playing the video. Something about it makes me bust out loud laughing every time! I’m not sure if it’s because it’s slapstick funny or if it’s the juxtaposition of this bow-adorned necklace-bejeweled child spewing out her meal, obviously forgetting the manners that should accompany such attire.

In the last year, the number of firsts for my daughter has been stunning. The leap from career woman and wife to mother is an incredible one, a perspective shift like no other. Despite all the planning and research, we’re never fully prepared. When the baby arrives, everything changes.

Everything is a first. Everything is a test. Does it work as planned? If not, do research and try something different. Try, test, learn, and adjust—Blakely Faye is introducing her parents to a creative process that never ends in parenting.

It reminds me of one of my favorite sayings: When’s the last time you did something for the first time?

For my daughter and her family the answer is daily. Sometimes even hourly.

And for me? In midlife?

I’ll admit the firsts are not nearly as often and the context is far less exciting. My firsts all have to do with aging, and if one more doctor tells me my latest ailment is just part of the aging process I think I’m going to punch them in the nose. Sudden allergy onset? Blurred vision at night? New aches and stiffness when the weather changes? All of it probably due to the aging process, I’m told. And what about those lines at the corners of my eyes? Definitely part of the aging process. At least my dermatologist had the courtesy to call my age spots wisdom spots.

Yet, as I watch my grandbaby move through all her firsts, there’s something incredibly restorative about it. She is learning who she is by the moment: what she likes, what she doesn’t like. She is becoming a unique little person, taste-by-taste, preference-by-preference, right before my eyes. Her engagement with her world is shaping who she is becoming. That’s exciting, energizing, and even encouraging.

Even at midlife, I’m still adjusting and learning. Maybe I’ll let Blakely Faye’s boldness inspire me.

Whether we’re talking about preferences or limitations, Blakely Faye and her Nana B are both on a journey of discovery, choosing how we engage with our changing worlds.

How about you? When is the last time you did something for the first time? Or were amused or perhaps renewed by watching a baby’s firsts? Tell me about it. I’d love to know.

My best,

Becky—Nana B

Becky’s Bio:

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli is a freelance writer and columnist who has faced continuing challenges in extraordinary ways. In 1997, her busy life as a dedicated community activist and mother of four children—two of whom had special needs—was dramatically affected by paralysis fromTransverse Myelitis, a rare inflammation of the spinal cord.

Reflecting on these and other life-altering circumstances, Becky’s freelance publishing career began in 2000 with an op-ed piece for theBaltimore Sun. She has written over four hundred columns on family life and resilient living including ”  From Where I Sit,” slice-of-life musings for a Baltimore Sun weekly, ” Looking Homeward,” a continuation of her father’s column for Huntington, West Virginia’s Herald-Dispatch, ” Tuesdays with Madison,” reflections of parenting an adult daughter with autism for  www.autismafter16.com, and a weekly newsletter,Thoughtful Thursdays, Lessons from a Resilient Heart. She also periodically contributes to the Baltimore Sun’s Op-Ed page, Midlife Boulevard, and  Nanahood.