The Opioid Crisis and How it Effects Grandparents and Grandchildren -

The Opioid Crisis

As many of you know I have a book coming out early next year specifically for grandmothers. This post isn’t a promotional piece about my book (although you can read about and pre-order it by clicking here). This post is about what I learned while working on the book concerning opioid crisis.

One of the chapters in my book is about “Grandparents Raising Their Grandchildren.” Because I know some grandparents who are doing this I thought I understood the situation, I was wrong. It’s much more complicated than I ever imagined.

One million children now live with their grandparents due to their parents drug addiction (mainly to opioids). Click To Tweet

The Power of Addiction

According to National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, “In 2005, 2.5 million children were living with grandparents who were responsible for their care. By 2015, that number had risen to 2.9 million.Child welfare officials say drug addiction, especially to opioids, is behind much of the rise in the number of grandparents raising their grandchildren, just as it was during the crack cocaine epidemic of the 1980s and ’90s. An estimated 2.4 million people were addicted to opioids at last count.”

More Statistics

The Statistics on Opioids and Grandfamilies Translate Into Real People and Real Lives

When I started working on this book I knew there were a lot of grandparents raising their grandchildren but I didn’t know how many, and I didn’t understand that drugs and alcohol played such a major part in why they are raising their grandchildren.

When you talk to them and hear their stories it is beyond heartbreaking. Many of them are physically, mentally and financially stressed.

Many of them don’t know where their adult children are.

Many of them have adult children in jail.

Many of them have had to admit that their children are unfit parents and the only choices available to them are letting their grandchildren go to foster care or raising them theirselves.

All of them have heartache, but they also have joy.

Finding Joy in Heartbreak

I say they have joy because every single grandmother I interviewed, regardless of the problems they faced (and some of their problems would make your hair stand on end) said that if they were given the choice they would do it all over again. Grandchildren are joy.

Not long after I started working on this book I stumbled across a Facebook page specifically for grandparents raising grandchildren. I messaged the lady who runs the group, told her about the book and asked if I could interview some of the members. She admitted me to the group and I asked if anyone would be willing to be interviewed. There were many who shared their stories with me and their stories gave faces to the millions of opiate addicts mentioned in the statistics above.

I never realized how complicated these grandparent’s lives are. Often they are dealing with legal issues (which vary from state to state) as well as emotional issues.

My Son, My Daughter

For grandparents who are raising their grandchildren because their child is addicted to drugs or alcohol, they are coping with a major lifestyle adjustment, plus the addiction of the son or daughter they love. Then when you add financial problems (which most of them have) it seems like an unbearable situation….and sometimes it is.

One day as I was reading entries in the Facebook Group I had to stop and wipe my eyes before I could keep scrolling.

“The Facebook entry said, “Megan overdosed last night. How do I tell my grandchildren their mother is dead? How can I deal with their broken hearts when mine is shattered?””

The Cost of Addiction

There is no way to put a number on the cost of addiction. Everyone loses. The one who is addicted…their parents…their children…society. It’s just a losing situation.

I ran across a blog post this morning written from a parent’s perspective (Fred Leamnsen) about the financial cost of addiction I think might be helpful for any parent’s going through this. It’s Dealing with Addiction and its Financial Consequences.

New Law For Grandfamilies

Just this year a new law was passed to establish a Federal Advisory Council. This council will support grandparents and other relatives raising children. The council will identify, promote, coordinate and share information about resources and best practices. This will help relative caregivers meet the health, educational, nutritional and other needs of the children in their care and hopefully help the caregivers maintain their own physical and mental health and emotional well-being.

You can read more about the new law here.

Traumatized Children

A study done in my home state of Kentucky found that about 75% of children have experienced at least one traumatic event before going to live with their grandparent. Caring for a traumatized child is complicated and is something most of us may not know how to handle.

Many of these children have experienced more than one traumatic event and very often these children act out the feelings they don’t know how to verbalize. For help with this go here.

What Can We Do?

If you know someone who is raising a grandchild or grandchildren here are some things you can do to help….

Pray – They need your prayers but they need more than prayers…they need help.

Offer to babysit for one day, one night, even one hour. Almost every grandparent I spoke with mentioned being tired. They need a break. Even a one hour nap can lift their spirits and energy level!

If you can afford to help them financially by buying the children clothing or a new pair of shoes, offer to do so! Most grandparents will appreciate your support.

If you know of groups or organizations in your community that could benefit these grandparents make a list of them and talk to the grandparents about them. They may not have access to the information.

Offer to listen. They may need someone to talk to. Listening does not mean giving advice. If you have helpful resources share them but until you walk in their shoes, do not offer advice. Just listen.

If you belong to a club or group why not take on “Grandfamilies in your community” to sponsor? Maybe it’s just during the holidays, or maybe it’s year round. Every thing you do will mean a lot to the children and grandparents in these families.

Don’t forget these families!