Meltdown-Reflections from the Kitchen Sink

Meltdown

I wrote this piece at the start of the COVID crazy…it wrapped full circle yesterday, so I decided maybe it was time to share.

Not going to lie…late last night I was in a frenzy. Not a COVID frenzy. Just a life frenzy. The kids and I had a pretty chill day. I decided with the potential of tighter restrictions I needed to get some order in the cabinets to make an actual grocery list. In the rush of ball season life and such, I had lost my preferred stronghold on the kitchen cabinets—yes, I alphabetically organize canned vegetables. I have several reasons I’ve been a stockpiler the better part of my life, none of which is important in this chat, but even with being stocked, I like things to be grouped and organized. Part way through the process, I lost it. I try so hard to be Bertha Bad Butt; however, I melted into a mess of yuck quicker than doused witch in The Wizard of Oz.

You see, I’m very much a realist who lives life in the black and white zone. I consider myself semi-strong and independent again now that I’m single and am the solo head of my household. The problem? I hate that. There are lots of women who love that mode and those labels, but I don’t. That’s how this grief thing works even all these years later. That’s how organized canned goods turns into an anxiety attack. In 2014, I am sure I tidied my cabinets multiple times. This time, some things slapped me in the face that I just didn’t like and that even after all this time I didn’t want to accept in some ways. Doing all the alone just stinks. The responsibilities are just overwhelming sometimes.

It was not long after my meltdown I got my wits about me. I’m alone, but I have two great kiddos who keep me motivated to make it from day to day, and our basic needs are provided. It reminds me of a song my late husband wrote about 15 years ago during a challenging time. I need to zero in on that more often. I talk about finding silver linings, but in a tough moments, gosh, that’s hard to remember. Today, I will make sure I put those things front and center.

All the reasons…yep, I’ve got them…

…and a cup of coffee here at the sink…

…until next time…

Melinda Campbell Bio:All Reflections from the Kitchen Sink posts are written by Melinda Campbell. Melinda is a retired educator who currently focuses her efforts on raising her two teenaged boys, advocating for individuals with special needs and against drunk driving, and serving in her local community. New Kitchen Sink Merchandise-Click Here?