How To Survive The Holidays Without Your Grandchildren
This is a guest post by my friend across the pond, Jane Jackson. Jane wrote an article for me last year about losing contact with her granddaughter and I asked her to write another for us about how to cope during the holidays when you aren’t allowed to see your grandchildren. I receive emails and messages on NanaHood’s Facebook page frequently from grandparents in this situation and it breaks my heart. I hope this helps and many thanks to Jane for sharing!
It’s going to be lonely this Christmas.
Some of you will know that in 2007 I lost contact with my granddaughter, due to family breakdown, my son has also not had any contact with his daughter, since 2007.
When you become a grandparent it is so special and such a privilege, a unique relationship. To have that relationship taken from you is devastating.
I have discovered that over one million children in the UK alone, are denied contact with their grandparents.
I decided to turn a negative into a positive and set up Bristol Grandparents Support Group, although we are based in the UK, we are contacted by grandparents from all over the world. A group that started with nine grandparents coming to our first meeting has now grown, and to date we have been contacted by over 2,500 grandparents. We now are a registered charity and we are honored to have Dame Esther Rantzen as our patron. Esther is the founder of Childline , a support helpline for young people, and founder of The Silver Line, a support helpline for the elderly.
Christmas and the holiday season is always a really difficult time for all estranged grandparents, a time when they should be surrounded by their family and grandchildren can be a time of isolation and loneliness.
We need to think of ways of self-protecting, so listed below are just some strategies to help you get through this difficult time.
Suggestions for Coping
Remember that Christmas is not as appears on the TV ads, not all families are gathering in joy and harmony!
Put up lights or a special decoration, maybe a small table top tree.
Invite someone else who is alone to spend time with you.
Volunteer to help out in one of the many organizations who offer a welcome to those less fortunate than ourselves.
Give yourself some quiet time.
Plan something special.
Go somewhere you have never been before.
Write a poem or song.
Play music, have a film marathon.
Have your own act of remembrance, that could be hanging something special on a tree, planting some bulbs or lighting a candle.
Go for a walk, look at nature and al that it offers, check out new buds just forming, a sign of Spring.
Arrange a Skype chat. Make a phone call with others who are feeling low.
Indulge a little.
Tree of Hope
Here, in Bristol for the last 6 years we have put a Christmas tree in our front garden for grandparents to come and write messages and place them on the tree, watching the tree fill up is very emotional and the lights shine out with love. It is called “Our Tree of Hope.”
If you would like to add a message please email it to me and I will write it out for you, messages arrive from all over the world
Jane’s email- jane @bgsg.co.uk
The ethos of BGSG is one of hope, we never give up hope and our grandchildren never forget us.
Remember not only this Christmas but every day, you are not alone, we are here to give you support, a hand to steady you, we will not let you fall.—Jane Jackson
