How It Feels When One Child Is Absent
How it Feels When One Child is Absent–A Reminder From My Friend
A few weeks ago I was at an event when I ran into a good friend. I used to see her often but they bought a second home and she’s there most of the time. I miss her. I watched her children grow up and love each of them dearly. So it was an added bonus that two of her three children and her husband were with her. I gave her a big hug (something that still feels weird after refraining for so long) and told her how nice it was to see her and her family. She smiled and answered quickly, “Minus one.”
Of course I knew one of her children was missing. He lives in another state and wasn’t able to come home for their family gathering. But her quick reminder that her family wasn’t complete made me think about a mother’s heart.
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I’m blessed that all my children live close, except one.
Two years ago my traveling son (and Jessi) weren’t able to be home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. It just wasn’t the same without them. This past year they were here but then Bill got COVID and suddenly Christmas didn’t really matter (the holiday, not the reason for the holiday). After Bill finally began to get better….Justin and Jessi went back to California. I understand but I miss them.
Of our five children he’s the one who has always marched to the beat of a different drummer…I just wish the drums were a little closer to home. Of course I can go visit them but that means a long plane ride, which I am not fond of but do it anyway because I know that if I don’t crash I get to see them! (I really hate flying.)
They probably won’t read this but in case they do….this isn’t criticism. You gotta do what you gotta do, but I will always miss you both when you aren’t home.
There have been times when for one reason or another one of our other children have not been at a family gathering and I felt the same way. There was a Thanksgiving when our daughter’s family had a stomach virus and we delivered meals to their house (we set them on a table outside and ran).
I’m guessing it’s the same for every momma with a missing child and of course much, much worse for the mother’s who children aren’t there because of family disputes, death or serious illness.
I know I’m blessed. We get along with all of our adult children and they all love their siblings. I’ve been around long enough to know that there are lots of homes where that isn’t the case.
Mother’s Day is on the horizon and while flowers and cards are nice, nothing says ” love you” like a visit. If you can’t go see your mother, call her. I promise she misses you and her day won’t be complete until ALL her children (no matter how old they are) have come by or called.
I sure wish I could go see mine. Mother’s Day is hard after your mother has died. I’ve written about my mother many times here at NanaHood and what an impact she made on my life. And for those mothers who have lost children, you have my deepest sympathy. I know your broken hearts must ache much worse on that day. Love the ones you can (even if you can’t wrap your arms around them) they are always in your heart.
Always.
