Cooking, cleaning and dealing with a house full of boys

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for twenty or thirty people should not be a big deal when you’ve raised five children, but it is for me this year. When the boys are out of school they bring all their friends and hang out at my house, which is good except when you are trying to get ready for company.

Yesterday I went to the grocery and hauled enough food home to feed a third world country. Besides the one BIG meal it takes a ton of food to feed seventeen year old boys and their buddies. Of course when I got home no one was here to help me carry everything in so I hauled it all in and began putting things away. That’s when the first disaster occurred. A bottle of maple syrup fell out and burst. I dropped the strawberries and when the dust finally settled I had strawberries stuck to the floor in maple syrup. I thought about eating the strawberries straight off the floor, just to see how the syrup made them taste but decided against it for obvious reasons.

Then this morning I sat on a banana peel in my office where son number two had left a partially eaten banana in my chair. I do not recommend smashed bananas on your backside for a number of reasons. Mainly it feels yucky and bananas belong in fruit salad, not office chairs.

After cleaning all morning in preparation of cooking the boys came home from ball practice with a surprise for me.

This was my surprise.

I screamed and ran from the room.

“Chill, mom,” Russell said.

“It isn’t going to hurt you,” Grant assured me.

“I don’t care!  Get it out of here now!”

“Can’t we keep it for just a few days? Russell asked.

“Do you want Thanksgiving dinner?” I threatened.

“Yes.”

“Either it goes or I’m not cooking.”

They looked at each other, then at the salamander, then at me. They could tell I meant it!

I’m happy to report that the boys chose me over the critter.

Happy Thanksgiving again. May the only animal on your table (and in your house) be a turkey…not a salamander.

P.S. A few hours after I posted this the dog started barking like crazy. I was slicing a tomato and I went outside to see what was the matter. The UPS man was sitting in his truck.

“Do these dogs bite?” he asked.

“Nope, you are safe,” I said.

He walked towards me with a box. I had a half a tomato in one hand and the knife I was using to slice it in the other. Evidently I looked a little scary. He started to hand me the package and then stepped sideways.

“Would you mind pointing that knife somewhere else?” he asked.

I did and he handed me the package, then did 60 mph down my driveway.

Next time I’ll leave the knife inside.