My Mother’s Closet

I wore my mother’s coat to work this morning. That doesn’t sound news worthy, but what some people might not know is that my mom died in 1990.

I have a friend whose mother’s just died and when she told me that she had cleaned her mother’s closet out, my heart ached for her.

Every blouse is a memory. Every dress is “the one she liked to wear to church” or a “friend’s shower.”  Every pair of slacks reminded me of her struggle to lose “just 5 pounds.” But the very worst thing was the lingering smell of her perfume. I remember all too well sitting in the floor of her closet, holding a piece of her clothing, and smelling her perfume. How could it still be there when she was gone?

When we lose someone we love there is a period of grieving and it’s different for every individual. Some of us grieve publicly, some in private. Some grieve intensely for years, others not as long. Some let grief consume them and they withdraw into themselves, unable to face a world that refuses to stop because their loved one has died.

There were several things in my mother’s closet that I kept. One item was a small ring that Mom placed on my son’s finger when he was seven years old and had to have minor surgery. She called the ring The Courage Ring and told him it would keep him from being afraid. Months later when she was diagnosed with cancer I placed the ring on her finger and she wore it until her death.

I also kept two corduroy coats, a navy blue one and a rose colored one. This morning I wore the rose colored one to work.

Anyone who looks at the pink coat probably won’t see it as anything special, but I know differently. After 21 years my mother is still wrapping her love around me and keeping me safe and warm.

Related posts:

  1. Mother’s Day Poem for Those Who Have Lost Their Mothers
  2. Giving Thanks for Mothers
  3. Honoring Other Mothers
  4. Honoring Mothers

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14 Comments

  8. Loved your story. It is a wonderful idea for you to wear your mom’s coat. I can relate to wearing her coat. I am wearing my dad’s t shirts to sleep in. When a loved one is gone, I think we should do things that make us feel good and bring back wonderful memories.

  11. I can so relate to your posting today! I wear many of my mother’s jackets and she died in 1993. Almost every time I wear one, someone compliments me on it. Mother bought most of her clothing at Handmacher’s and they just don’t make clothes as well made as those any more. I remember going shopping there with her with my sons when they were young. They hated that place for it was so crowded. Even now after all these years, I have one dress that I do not wear for her perfume lingers and I don’t want it cleaned for fear her fragrance will disappear.

  12. Aw, special memories. I think of my mom who now lives in a nursing home, the things we can’t do together any more. I remember when I was a young girl I liked to go into their closet. It was under the stairs. I loved looking at dresses she didn’t wear any more and wondered where she wore them. Don’t have them any more, as I’m sure she got rid of them when we moved into the new house a mile away. Never thought much of it til now. My dad’s been gone from earth for years. I still have his wool jumper (as he called sweaters) that we bought him when we were in England. I remember his suspenders he wore. I have a set of his cuff links….memories we cling to of the ones we loved no longer with us. Fond!
    Stop by my Monday blog post, teresa, soon!

  13. When my Dad died, my Mom simply could not bring herself to go through his things so the job fell to me. I am ditzy but then I have my “Scarlett O’Hara” moments when a spine of steel comes out, and this was one of those times. I saved the flannel shirt he wore into the hospital the last time and put it in a small trunk. After my Mom died, my sister, three nieces and I went through Mom’s stuff. I saved the shirt that she wore to the hospital the last time she went, too. I put it in the trunk with my Dad’s flannel shirt. I can smell them on those shirts when I pull them out of the trunk. Whenever I use Dove body wash, I think of my Dad as that was the soap he always used. Whenever I smell White Shoulders perfume, I think of my Mom because that was her favorite and one that I saved my allowance up to buy her a gift set of from Metcalfe Drugs one Christmas. Sometimes those scents come to me at unexpected moments, moments that I need to remember my parents and smile with joy because they were my parents.

  14. When my grandma passed away I started going through her dresses. As I looked at them every single one had a memory for me. She still had some of her pretty pins attached to them. I could remember particular dresses she wore to her Homemakers meetings, church, family get-togethers and weddings. I still have most of her dresses and would love to make something special out of them. Maybe someday I will……

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