Losing People We Love Creates Holes in Our Hearts

Losing People We Love

In a world full of billions of people, I am so thankful for the relatively small number of awesome people God has allowed me to walk this earth with. Yesterday I attended the celebration of life service for one of the people I am most thankful for, my Aunt Kate.

See the little girl in the back of this huge gas guzzler….that’s Kate. She was only 12 years older than me, so we dropped the “Aunt” title years ago. The look of sheer joy on her face is one that stayed there up until the very end of her life. The driver of the car was her sister Aunt Mary Alice, who was underage when this picture was made and only allowed to drive the car up and down the drive way. The car belonged to my dad who was in the service and overseas. Little did he know his sisters were having a blast cruising up and down the road in his car. Aunt Mary Alice said that occasionally she rotated the tires for fun (fun?)

Kate’s love of excitement and adventure never faded. I have never known another woman like her and fully expect that I never will.

Kate’s mother died when I was about the age I am in this picture. That’s my BFF, cousin and side kick Martha beside me. Kate told me many, many times how Aunt Mary Alice, Aunt Roberta and my mom stepped in as role models and of course she still had her dad there, too.

Elvis

Kate was the first to introduce me to Elvis. She played his records on her record player and took me to see Girl Happy. She also liked James Bond movies and took me to see You Only Live Twice. When she went away to college, I was devastated. I wrote her letters and she always answered. Her letters were full of her witt and teenage wisdom and I loved reading them. She invited Martha and me down for a visit and we thought her door room was the coolest place on earth.

She graduated and married Gary and they stayed married for 57 years. Every time I looked at him yesterday at the memorial service my eyes would do double squirts.

Just Keep Moving

If there ever was a woman who was in constant motion, it was Kate. For years she was a runner and run she did, winning race after race. Forrest Gump couldn’t out run Kate. in 2014 I ran across an article online that covered her racing career. You can read about The Queen of the Road here.

From running she went on to tennis and golf, and she never rode in a cart. She carried her bag 18 holes, every day for years. Recently she had taken up Pickle Ball and at the service yesterday I overheard a woman saying I just played her in pickle ball two weeks ago and she beat the —- out of me.

This is Kate and Gary and she is wearing her prom dress from high school. I believe this was their 50th wedding anniversary and of course the dress still fit, she ate well, exercised like a demon and fat cells couldn’t catch her because she out ran them.

The last time I saw her was at my son’s wedding in October. She seemed in good spirits and like she was feeling fine. As always, she was interested in life, family and how and what all of my crew was doing. It was a wonderful night and I’m so glad she and Gary made the trip.

Kate is on my left and Aunt Mary Alice on my right. If you had told me that night I never would see her alive again I would not have believed you. But even though Kate was “Super Woman” to me, she was mortal.

Leukemia

When I got a text from saying that her blood disorder had turned into leukemia, I thought to myself, well this will be a battle but If anyone can fight through it, Kate can.

Only she couldn’t.

Christmas

She had Christmas with her family and the next day she went to the hospital where she was admitted. The day I was going to drive to Chattanooga to see her, her daughter advised me not to come. Kate had taken a turn for the worse.

Super Woman had met her match. She took her cape off and her daughter’s, Gary and family stayed by her side until the end.

The first thing she said to her daughters when being admitted to the hospital was, at least we got through Christmas.

The Celebration of Life

Leah and Leslie, her beautiful daughters, eulogized her and it was obvious that they loved her as fiercely as she loved them, their children, and others. The church was filled with friends and family and I’m willing to bet 90 percent of them had at one time or another been beaten by Kate at one sport or another.

Of course I cried through the whole service and most of the reception. I have my Aunt Roberta’s tear ducts and can spout bucket fulls on demand. My dress was soggy and my makeup gone by the time we left.

I cried because I’m going to have another hole in my heart where she lived. I cried because she loved Martha (the other little girl in the picture above) as much as I did. Several times we went to Florida together the last year of Martha’s battle with breast cancer. Kate would cook and clean (man was she a great cook and super cleaner) and I would drive Martha to chemo or radiation.

Kate was my go to book person. When I needed more books to read she had recommendations for me. Not only did we like to read the same books but we loved discussing the characters and plots.

I could always count on her to be a straight shooter. If i needed advice, she would tell me what she thought and never minced words.

She was one of my biggest cheerleaders. She came by that naturally. She cheered all 4 years in high school and all 4 in college. And after she graduated she cheered for all her family and friends. She was a true “encourager.” I’m going to miss that so much.

When Bill, my husband spent months in the hospital, she texted and when she learned I didn’t have a good place to sleep she had Amazon send me a fold up cot. Unfortunately we changed rooms and hospitals so much that the bed never caught up with us, but it was the thought that counted.

When Bill was in Vanderbilt and I was living in his hospital room and eating cafeteria food, she drove from Chattanooga to Nashville to take me to lunch so that I could have a few hours out of the hospital.

I know she did this kind of thing for lots of people but there are so few people who loved me as much as she did. It’s selfish of me to wish she were still here, I know that. She would have hated being sick for a long time. Being sick at all just wasn’t her style. She managed to be Super Woman for 78 years and that alone should make her Time’s Person of the Year.

Erma

When I found out that Kate had passed I immediately thought about something Erma Bombeck said.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.” EB

Kate did that.

Rest easy Super Woman. I’m sure gonna miss you.

Kate’s Obituary

Martha Kate Bell Gerbitz

To donate to someone you loved who died from leukemia check out this link http://www.memorial.org/foundation