Invisible Women and How to Be Visible -

Invisible Women

If you haven’t watched the new Matlock show with Kathy Bates you are missing out. We streamed all the ones we missed and really enjoy it. The other night when we were watching it she said something that really resonated with me. It had to do with invisible women.

Bates has been interviewed about the show and ageism and she said in part, “Old women are invisible, no one sees us coming... I think if I was not well known, I would be invisible.”

Well, I’m not well known and I definitely have felt invisible at times. Have you?

What makes me feel invisible?

I no longer am identified as the mother of young children and that was such a fun time in my life. Even though I could have been voted the least likely to have 5 children when I was in high school, I fell in love with motherhood the moment they placed my first child in my arms. I still adore children and I am blessed to be allowed to help care for my younger grandchildren, but there are times when I look at my busy daughter with a tad of envy. She’s the mom now (and my beautiful, sweet daughter-in-laws)… not me.
I retired from education and although I have no desire to go back, I miss working with teenagers. I miss History Teacher conferences and learning new ways to teach kids about the past. I loved teaching American History and World History. I loved being a Beta Sponsor. I tried substitute teaching but for reasons I won’t go into here, I didn’t like it enough to keep doing it. Having a career is a major portion of most women’s lives. Not having a career can mess with your self worth, or it does mine.
I no longer look like I once did. Shocker, right? Who does? I’ve gained too much weight and I hide behind loose clothes and stretchy yoga pants. My self confidence level has dropped about as much as I now weigh. Of all the “clubs” I no longer belong to, the “eat anything I want to and stay skinny club” is one I dearly miss.

There is good news and bad news about being invisible.

The good news in no one pays much attention to you so if you want to run around in big tee shirts and sweat pants, go for it. No one cares.

The bad news is being invisible can make you depressed….like really depressed.

We can’t stay young forever but I believe there are many things we can do to help our attitude toward aging.

It’s important to focus on what we do have rather than what we don’t. We do have wisdom, or at least we should by this point in life. You learn so many things as you get older and yet we don’t have to stop learning!

Try new things. A friend gave me two pickleball paddles and some balls. Another friend agreed to try it with me. So far we are just practicing in her driveway but we plan to try the courts soon! My 88 year old aunt plays and loves it!

2. Read books, lots of books! During the busiest seasons of life it’s hard to find time to read but it’s such good stimulation for your mind. If you aren’t a reader take up gardening and join the Garden Club. My cousin belongs to a Trivia Team. They get together and play trivia one night a week. I have lots of friends who belong to Book Clubs and enjoy not only reading but talking about books. It’s a great way to stay active and make new friends.

3. Stay physically and mentally active. Find a friend who loves to walk or play pickleball and get active. We can’t turn back time but we can remain involved in life. The worst thing anyone can do is retire and go home and just sit. Stay busy at whatever you love to do!