How To Stay Off the Naughty List

The world if full of sad things and missed opportunities. In my opinion there are few things worse than families who can’t get along.  Every family has problems and no one is perfect, but to disagree to the point of not speaking to one another…well, life is just too short.

A few weeks ago Abby Nelson asked me if she could write a guest post for me.  Abby’ is a very smart lady and makes some valid points about how NOT to fight with family.  I hope you enjoy her post and if you know someone who might benefit from reading it, pass it along.

How to Avoid Disputes with Family Members

There’s an old adage that says “We don’t get to choose our family, thank God we can at least pick our friends”. Some of us blessed with the most wonderful families, but we end up ruining our relationships with them because of petty arguments and insignificant issues. Truth is, friends can be replaced, but family cannot. So my advice to you is to try and keep relations cordial with family members by avoiding disputes and mending fences at the earliest. To do this:

• Never borrow or lend money: Money and property are one of the major reasons for familial disputes. It would be easy if everyone agreed on all financial matters, but that is never the case in any family. While you may not have control over familial property or inheritances, you can prevent tensions from running high by never borrowing or lending large sums of money to family members (or small sums on a regular basis). The inability to repay such money is often a source of strife and eventual estrangement.
• Respect relationships and their boundaries: Relationships are special to those in it, so respect the boundaries of the relationships your family members share with outsiders. Too much interference in their relationships or making moves on the significant others of family could end up disastrous in more ways than one.
• Don’t take undue advantage of family members: There are some people who are always willing to oblige family, even at the cost of their own happiness. But if you keep taking advantage of their generosity and kindness, you could end up losing them altogether, especially if you don’t reciprocate and show your appreciation in any way you can.
• Let go of minor issues: Some arguments and disagreements can be nipped in the bud before they become full blown fights, so if this is in your power, do so to prevent tension in the family. It’s not worth losing a loved one over a petty issue that will probably blow over if it’s not blown out of proportion.
• Use distance to maintain relationships: And finally, no matter how much you love your family, a certain amount of distance between you will help you maintain healthy and happy relationships. When you’re together all the time, you tend to squabble for the silliest issues; you find that misunderstandings crop up more often than ever; and you start to resent your family instead of loving them. When you see family once in a while, you appreciate them more and foster cordial and loving relations with them.

This guest post is contributed by Abby Nelson, she writes at the following address

http://www.mastersincounseling.com/

She welcomes your comments at her email id: abby.85nelson<@>gmail<.>com.