Reflections From The Kitchen Sink On Encouraging Others

Encouraging others

I had gone in the day before to try on some dresses. Shopping isn’t fun for me, especially now that I don’t feel I have my man to impress. I’ve been in quite a funk the last little bit. I have sparky moments, but the depression has me pretty bound up. I’m not sure if it is a singular issue or just lots of little ones intersecting. The lull just hits, and I do the best I can until the storm passes.

Anyway, I needed a gown for a pageant to-do, so I went to one of the mainstay boutiques for all things pageant and glam. I can’t say that playing dress up with my title hasn’t been a little bit fun, but getting prepared is a bit of a challenge. Day one, I tried on a 103 dresses (slightly hyperbolizing perhaps) and asked the wonderful little lady helping me to hold them and I’d come back the next day with less exhaustion and a clear mind maybe. The next morning, on cue, I walked in, and the wonderful staff put the held dresses in the dressing room. My little friend from the previous day pulled a few more “just for fun,” and I proceeded to try the dresses on.

Between some arthritis and the dress style, I struggled to fasten the first one, so I opened the door for some assistance. Help was right there, so I stepped out of the dressing room. Almost immediately, a lady whom I’d not seen the day before rounded the corner. Her eyes broadened and she said, “That looks amazing!”

Now, I’m the girl who second guesses a lot, especially compliments. Sales people are sometimes quick to share compliments, you know. I proceeded to the big mirror. The staff made a couple other nice remarks then I went back in for dress number two.

I tried on a total of seven dresses during round two at the shop. As the staff rotated in and out to check on me, it seemed my new little friend was my sidekick for the better part of my visit.

“Ooh, that’s my new favorite!”

“Wait! That one just took the other one off the table.”

“No.”

“That’s it! Let me take a photo, so you can really see the sparkles.”

It became obvious my helper—let’s call her “Sally”—had no intention of letting me leave without taking the very best dress out the door. I ended up trying a couple on more than once even just so Sally could see the ones she missed on the first run-through.

During our time together, Sally asked me questions to help her help me with my shopping, but her questions opened up a lovely dialogue that took a—what some would consider odd—turn. It became personal. We weren’t talking about fabrics or sizes and styles. We were talking about our realities.

“When you go through a traumatic experience like you have or like I have, your perspective on things changes,” Sally said. Sally is a cancer survivor and says life looks different to her now.

Sally said her once spotless house now occasionally has some obstacles she just steps over to go out the door to enjoy life. The laundry, the dishes, the dust—all of that will be home when she gets there and feels like taking care of it.

I thought of my desk clutter, the never-ending to do list, the 2+ acre yard that looks like it needs mowing sometimes every other day. I told Sally she was exactly right though. On days you’re feeling a little better, sometimes you just let the “stuff” go to go do more important things like take the kids on a little adventure or just sit on the porch and do nothing. Here’s the lesson: IT’S OKAY TO DO THAT.

I grew up in a home that had everything in its place. Always. My mom ironed my dad’s boxer shorts and undershirts. Even in the old farmhouse you could eat off the floors. (Well, unless Dad walked in with cow poop on his boots. Then, you might skip the entry floor at least.) I used to beat myself up that I couldn’t get my home to look like that all the time before I even had kids or my health crashed. Living alone, my apartment had spots that looked like the proverbial tornado had hit. The idea that I still have guilt thoughts about that stuff is almost laughable now that I’m standing at the sink thinking about Sally.

Sally had no clue that one of my sayings is the there are no coincidences with God. Guess what? Sally said the same thing to me as she said it was not by chance that she and I met.

Sally rocked my world in the couple hours we spent together. You just never know who you will meet or how you will impact someone. I will make sure that Sally knows that she put just the right sparkle in my heart that day, and it wasn’t the sparkle on the earrings she said were perfect. The sparkle in her eyes and in her heart were exactly what I needed. She has a gift for encouraging others.

I did make a purchase, but even if I hadn’t, my trip would have been worth every minute of the drive and the exhaustion of the shopping frenzy just because I met Sally.

When I leave my sink this morning, my goal for the day is to be a Sally to someone I meet. I have to go pick up my boy from his first big boy trip in a few. He’s been gone from me and his brother for three days. There’s a post coming about that experience for sure…you’ll see it soon. I’ve got to take my coffee to go now. Yes, I’m excited to get my baby bird back in the nest!

Until next time…go be a Sally today 🙂

Bio-Bio-Melinda Campbell is a retired educator who currently focuses her efforts on raising her two teenaged boys, advocating for individuals with special needs and against drunk driving, and serving in her local community. Melinda has been gaining recognition for her writings labeled “Reflections from my Kitchen Sink” since the tragic death of her husband Michael in 2015. In her stories, she shares observations from her daily life including moments she has as a solo parent, a widow, and a woman who battles significant health issues including fibromyalgia and depression. BIG ANNOUNCEMENT- New Kitchen Sink Merchandise-Click Here