7 Things Moms Should Remember On Mother’s Day
7 Things Moms Should Remember (There are millions of things but here are the first 7)
Back in the day when all five of our children were young if I heard “Mom,” once, I must have heard it a thousand times. I remember one incident in particular. I was at the tipping point (that’s where you can’t decide whether to lock yourself in the bathroom or run away from home) and son number 2 who was about 5 years old yelled “Mom” for what seemed like the 1,001 time and I responded with something like “Don’t yell Mom at me again!”
Big mistake.
He looked up at me with his big blue eyes and asked, “Don’t you want to be my mom any more?”
Of course that opened the floodgates and I hugged him and assured him that I did, that mommy was just having a bad day.
So Remember
- Moms have bad days. Sooner or later life will sucker punch you and occasionally it will do it’s best to beat you to a pulp; one punch after another. When my mother was dying of terminal cancer and I was doing my best to help my father, my children and my grandmother. My sweet angel sister-in-law was by my side and God had my back. It was a very hard time in my life and even though I tried not to be short tempered with the kids…I failed many, many times. It took me years to find inner peace from her death and to forgive myself of all my shortcomings. Guilt was my gift that just kept on giving. Every wrong I had ever done haunted me. If you are in a season of life that is exceptionally challenging, ask someone for help and don’t take as long as I did to forgive yourself. Even though at times motherhood feels like you are a drill sergeant in charge of the most unruly troops ever, hang in there. Your little soldiers love you.
- Take care of yourself because Motherhood. Is. Exhausting. Even when things are going smoothly there are still challenges. I tell people I’m re-tired….for me that means that my energy level is somewhere between a sloth and a slug. My exhaustion started in 1981, the year our first child was born and continues into nanahood with my 11 grandchildren. Take time out from KP (aka Kitchen police) duty and go out with your girlfriends. Have a weekly (or at least every other week) date night with your husband. Treat yourself to a spa day. It’s really a no-brainer that you need to take care of yourself before you can adequately care for others but if you aren’t careful you will convince yourself that you don’t have the money (go on a picnic) or you can’t get a sitter (that’s what nanas are for!) or some other excuse. Find a way to make it work because YOU are IMPORTANT!
- Honor your mother. If you you still have your mom, you are blessed. Celebrate her. I know not every mom is great at motherhood so if yours was a sister to Cruella DeVille…..I’m sorry. I really am, but ask yourself why? Walk a mile in her house-shoes or high heels. Was there an argument that went too far? Is she difficult to get along with or could it be that you both just have different interests and temperaments? Think about it and then find a way to make peace with her. Yes, you read that right. Reach out to her. Life doesn’t last forever and if you wait too long you may not get the chance to talk to her again. Find a way to mend your fences. If you don’t eventually you will be sorry and if your not sorry about the loss of your mother/daughter relationship then the problem isn’t her….it’s you. Ephesians 4:32 and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.
- Allow your children to learn from their mistakes. In other words don’t try and “fix” things for them. It’s a painful but necessary part of being a good parent. If you don’t believe me ask a classroom teacher about parents who are fixers. Trust me, your child will pay for your mistakes if you step in every time they have a crisis.
My mother loved Erma Bombeck and so did I. I’m including some of her wisdom here.
5. Don’t have a dusty Bible. The best parenting book available was not written by a mortal but it is on Amazon. The Bible gives you loads of examples of parents who made mistakes (Herodias and Potifar’s wife come to mind) as well as those who were exemplary mothers(Mary and her cousin Elizabeth are the first I think of). When you combine the Bible with going to church, prayer and faith you will be sowing the seeds of love, faith, peace and courage in your children. God, family and friends who pray with you and for you are one of life’s greatest blessings.
6. A sense of humor helps. Don’t be afraid to laugh. Kids are funny and laughter can do so many things. It creates memories. It lightens tense moments. It lifts your spirits. So do the Hot Dog dance with your kids (Micky Mouse Club House). Dress up with them at Halloween. Act silly with them. Don’t take yourself too seriously because laughter really is the best medicine.
7. You have to know where you want to go when you start your journey! When you bring your bundle of love home from the hospital chances are you aren’t thinking about the day he/she graduates from high school…but you should be. Why? Because the days are long but the years are short and one day you will turn around and Pomp and Circumstances will be playing (always makes me cry) and they will be tossing their graduation hats in the air.
Think of it like this, imagine you are a sculptor and you have a large lump of clay in front of you. You want to make a vase but you have no idea where to start. That’s motherhood.
You are a sculptor whether you want to be or not. Even if you don’t have any experience as an artist….your children are your art. You don’t get to choose how the end product turns out because children have a mind of their own (as they should). Good mothers guide, but they don’t make life choices for their children. I’m not talking about making them eat peaches at supper (my sister-in-law did that to her son and he immediately barfed it back up). I’m talking about BIG things like college or technical school or workforce (their choice not yours).
We took the grandchildren over to our farm recently and let them paddle around the pond in a boat (with life vests on). They have no rowing experience and pretty much went in circles the whole time.
Sometimes we have to let them go in circles and row their own boat. Being a good mom takes practice, wisdom and a big dose of patience. Keep in mind you are working yourself out of a job. Begin your motherhood journey with the end in mind because there will come a day when you have to let them go.
Happy Mother’s Day to moms everywhere. May your day be filled with God’s love, your family and laughter.
