We Teach By Example

My mother loved to teach. She taught sixth grade reading for many years, but she was my teacher for as long as she lived. She taught me many things but her best lessons were the ones she lived every single day.  I suspect that my children would say the same thing about me. We can tell our children and grandchildren how to act in certain situations but if we don’t model the behavior we want them to have it doesn’t matter. What we do is always more important than what we say.

My mother had this framed and hanging on her bathroom wall.


I read it so many times over the years I can almost recite it by heart. It is a powerful reminder of being a good example, as well as a sweet memory of my mother’s love for me and my brother. Her life was a sermon of love.

It Isn’t Always Easy

Our country just elected a new President and as I watched the election results on television I scrolled through Facebook and Twitter. Disappointment had turned into anger. There was foul language and name calling. There was disgust and outrage.

It was hard to believe that these were the same Facebook and Twitter friends that shared recipes and bragged about their children or grandchildren.  Some of them even went so far as to say, “If you voted for the candidate who won go ahead and unfriend me now. I want nothing else to do with you.” After reading too many of these I put down my phone, turned the television off and went to bed but I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about the anger and deep, deep division in our country.

In The Heat Of The Moment

I understand getting angry and yes, I have lost my temper and said things in the heat of the moment that I had to ask forgiveness for later. But saying mean, hateful things about people on Facebook and Twitter because you don’t agree with the way they voted doesn’t make the situation any better, nor does it change anything. It only makes things worse because just like the framed quote I spoke of earlier, children learn what they live.

Fear and Anger

If we wring our hands in anguish and fear and worry about “what if” you can bet our children and grandchildren will do the same thing. If we curse and call people names, that will be copied as well. Our response to difficult situations is what determines our character.  Are we going to lie down on the floor and kick and scream like children if we don’t get our way? Or are we going to accept the things we can not change with grace and dignity?

I can’t think of anyone who invested more time and energy in this campaign than Hillary Clinton. The loss to her opponent had to feel like a punch in the stomach but after she got her breath back, she addressed her supporters and the nation with a speech that showed acceptance without malice towards those who voted against her. We all should do the same.

Carl Sandburg said, “To be a good loser is to learn how to win.” It is as important to be a good loser as it is to be a gracious winner, maybe even more important because we are going to lose in life a whole lot more than we win. Our four boys and our daughter played various sports during their school years. For every game they won they lost many, many more.

Losing an election didn’t make Hillary Clinton a loser anymore than winning made Donald Trump a winner. Many of our most famous Americans lost political races. Abraham Lincoln is the first that comes to mind. When we think about Lincoln do we remember him for the race he lost or for what he did as President?

Trump will have to answer to the same test of time that Lincoln did. One day his victory won’t be as significant as what he does during the time he is president.

Where Do We Go From Here?

While I don’t know what will happen during Trump’s years in office I do know that our country is a little like Humpty Dumpty and if we have any hope of putting it back together again we are going to have to do it one little piece at a time and we are going to have to do it together. And we can’t work together if we are mad at each other and calling each other names.

Saying that “All people who voted for Trump are racist and stupid,” isn’t any more true than saying, “All people who voted for Hillary are educated and brilliant.” Every person in America voted the way they did for their own reasons. Lumping voters into one category and labeling them as “uneducated white males” is like glancing at a bushel of a variety of red apples and saying they are all Red Delicious when in fact that isn’t true.

Teach Your Children Well 

As we go forward let us try to remember that our children and grandchildren are watching and listening. We can’t change the past but we could change the future if we teach our children well, and we do that by example.


  1. So perfect said, beautifully written my friend! I can’t believe I cried so hard…for our grandkids and all the young ones we couldn’t protect from what they were hearing. My 8 yo granddaughter said on the phone Monday night..” please tell mommy to let me stay up to watch Hillary win!” Of course I said it was up to her mom…and I said I was going to bed and we’d all Hear the good news in the morning. I cried because of this sweet baby and because of my certainty…and because of the naive bubble I didn’t know I was in. Thank you for this! Parents and grandparents have got this! ?

  2. teresak 10 Nov, 2016

    Thank you, Joan. Love hearing from you and knowing your thoughts and feelings. You are one super sweet Gramcracker!