Thursday Thoughts On Squirrels
I have a friend who is scared of squirrels. Several of the fuzzy tailed critters got in his attic and he about went nuts (pardon the obvious squirrel pun) trying to get them out. He feels about them the way I feel about mice. Perhaps if I had ever been chased by a squirrel like he was I might fear them. I haven’t actually been chased by a mouse either, but a mouse did run up my husband’s pants leg and in my opinion watching Bill dance with a mouse in his pants was one of the highlights of our marriage.
I’m not sure Bill would agree.
Anyway, back to squirrels. Last Sunday I woke up to the sound of barking. Not just occasional barking but the sort that lets you know that something unusual is going on. I followed the noise to my sun porch and looked outside. At first I didn’t see anything. It looked like our dogs were serenading me. They were all lined up on the ground beneath the porch and howling like crazy. I followed their eyes and this is what I saw.
The dogs weren’t going to give up and the squirrel wasn’t going to come down. What to do?
I went and got Bill of course! Saving a squirrel comes under “jobs for men” in my book. The dogs didn’t want to leave the squirrel for Bill either. We tried bribing them with food…no luck. Finally we picked them up, one by one and carried them into the house and then we waited for the squirrel to escape. And we waited, and we waited.
So Bill decided to hurry him up.
It didn’t work. We went inside and when Mr. Squirrel got good and ready…he left. And I imagine he won’t be back…..ever.
While I’m on the subject of squirrels I have to share something with you about my grandmother that those of you who aren’t from the south may find shocking. Growing up she often ate squirrel brains and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Before you throw up or call PETA or something, remember my grandmother was born in 1913 and grew up on a farm in rural Kentucky. Lots of people ate squirrel brains and when I Googled it, I found articles about squirrel brains in newspapers. Mostly warning folks to be careful about the squirrels they choose to consume.
Here’s part of an article from August of 1997 printed in the New York Times.
Doctors in Kentucky have issued a warning that people should not eat squirrel brains, a regional delicacy, because squirrels may carry a variant of mad cow disease that can be transmitted to humans and is fatal.
The article went on to say,
Squirrels are a popular food in rural Kentucky, where people eat either the meat or the brains but generally not both, Dr. Weisman said. Families tend to prefer one or the other depending on tradition. Those who eat only squirrel meat chop up the carcass and prepare it with vegetables in a stew called burgoo. Squirrels recently killed on the road are often thrown into the pot.
Families that eat brains follow only certain rituals. ”Someone comes by the house with just the head of a squirrel,” Dr. Weisman said, ”and gives it to the matriarch of the family. She shaves the fur off the top of the head and fries the head whole. The skull is cracked open at the dinner table and the brains are sucked out.” It is a gift-giving ritual. The second most popular way to prepare squirrel brains is to scramble them in white gravy, he said, or to scramble them with eggs. In each case, the walnut-sized skull is cracked open and the brains are scooped out for cooking.
Let me make it perfectly clear, I have never eaten (nor do I want to eat) any part of a squirrel. Grandma may have eaten squirrel brains in her younger days but by the time I entered the world she only talked about it. She also talked about eating frog legs (lots of folks around here still do) and mountain oysters. I loved my grandma with all my heart, but no matter how much I loved her if she had ever placed any of those items on the table in front of me I don’t care how long my mother made me sit at the table I would never, ever clean my plate!
How about you?
I came home for lunch one day and noticed some things out of place in the kitchen. I cautiously looked through the rest of the house…I was afraid someone had broken in. After further investigation I realized no one was in my house but something had entered through the chimney. I immediately called my husband and he assured me it HAD to be a bird and it HAD to still be in the house. I checked every room, no bird. I went back to work and came home from work that night and everything seemed normal. Saturday morning my husband woke me and told me he figured out what had been in the house the day before. He said he noticed the refrigerator making an odd noise and was checking it out because he was afraid it was in need of repair. Nope, it was a squirrel under the refrigerator and he was none to happy every time the fan came on and grazed his fur. After much effort and finally moving the refrigerator to the back door, my husband poked and prodded until the squirrel finally ran out from the refrigerator and up a tree. We would still see him occassionally in the yard, he was easy to spy with the missing fur!
Confession. I have eaten (and in some cases, relished) all of the above except the brains. Irarely got the brains, because that was Daddy’s treat! HATED to cook squirrels, because they were hard to clean (ALWAYS had hair on them) and before they were cooked, looked just like unborn human fetuses……sorry to gross your friends out even worse! Now, the frog legs and mountain oysters—–yum!!! Would love to have some any day.. Guess it’s a product of living in the “olden days”…… But I’m with Jennifer–a dead squirrel is a good squirrel; he was probably headed to your attic, and they chew holes in stuff and cut electrical wires…..
Okay….I started off reading and laughing but I had to run to the bathroom and heave a little when I started reading about the ummm gift giving rituals up yonder…..
next time … a little warning please lol
I need to introduce to my friend who is scared of them…between the two of you I don’t think there’s a squirrel in the world that stands a chance!
OK, here’s my feeling on squirrels: I DON’T LIKE THEM!
My first run-in with a squirrel was just over two years ago. It ran in front of our dog. The dog took up the chase. In the process, she swiped my then 7yo off of his feet. He landed on his head with a thud. We rode in an ambulance, spent the day in the ER and the night in the hospital. One year later, our pediatrician admitted it was the worst concussion she had ever seen. Two years later, we’re still seeing what we believe are effects from the concussion.
Next, this winter when we had 3ft of snow, the squirrels figured out our squirrel-proof bird feeder. The just stood on the snow until they could balance themselves. When the snow melted, they still managed to beat the feeder – apparently all they needed was a little boost the first time.
Finally, in the spring, we were told we had squirrels in the attic. Now, I’m not scared of squirrels, but they can cause MAJOR damage and so they have to be dealt with – at great expense.
So, if your dogs wanted to get at that squirrel – I say, let them go – one less squirrel to cost me physically, emotionally, and financially!
Not like I have strong feelings about squirrels or anything! The only rodent I like less: rats – and yes, we have those, too – nothing like living in an urban area! UGH!