The Council of Dads

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Warning: Today’s NanaHood post is longer than usual. Grab a cup of coffee and sit a spell with me!

This past week I attended a conference and the guest speaker was someone you may have heard of. His name is Bruce Feiler and he has written several books. Here is what his web site says about him….

“BRUCE FEILER is one of America’s most popular voices on faith, family, and finding meaning in everyday life. He is the best-selling author of nine books, including WALKING THE BIBLE, ABRAHAM, and AMERICA’S PROPHET, and one of only a handful of writers to have four consecutive New York Times nonfiction bestsellers in the last decade. He is also the writer/presenter of the PBS miniseries WALKING THE BIBLE. His latest book, THE COUNCIL OF DADS, tells the uplifting story of how friendship and community can help one survive life’s greatest challenges.”

I listened to Mr. Feiler’s speech, purchased his book (two copies) and even stood in line to have him sign it; something I’ve never done before. I finished it in one night and will read it again in a few weeks. It has a permanent home on my bedside table.

The Council of Dads

From his website ….

Bruce Feiler was a young father when he was diagnosed with cancer in 2008. He instantly worried what his death might mean for his daughters. “Would they wonder who I was? Would they wonder what I thought? Would they lack for my approval, my discipline, my voice?”

Three days later he came up with a stirring idea of how he might give them that voice. He would reach out to six men, from all the passages in his life, and asked them to be present through the passages in his daughters’ lives. And he would call this group of men, “The Council of Dads.”

“I believe my daughters will have plenty of opportunities in their lives,” he wrote to these men. “They’ll have loving families. They’ll have welcoming homes. They’ll have each other. But they may not have me. They may not have their dad. Will you help be their dad?”

My Thoughts on The Council of Dads and Dads in general….

Every once in awhile a writer comes along who says things the way I wish I could. Anna Quindlen is one such writer and so is Bruce Feiler. He describes events and people so descriptively that I feel what he is feeling. I am inside his head…or maybe he is inside mine.

While I have not been visited by the cancer monster myself, many of my loved ones have. When I read passages from The Council of Dads or read Mr. Feiler’s cancer blog, I recognize far too many of the the thoughts and emotions he describes. I’ve included a link to his cancer diary so you can see what I mean.

http://brucefeiler.com/c/bruces-cancer-diary/

Mr. Feiler wrote this book in part because his children are young and if he dies before they are grown he wants them to have guidance from other men who can fulfill the role of a dad and I understand that, but it brought two thoughts to mind. First, no one can really replace our parents. They can help. They can offer advice and support, but when all is said and done, Mr. Feiler’s children only have one real dad and he’s the one they are going to yearn for.

The second thought I had was, no matter how long we have on this earth, whether it’s a year or two or twenty plus, it will never be enough. There will always be children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren we want to watch grow up. Graduation and marriage ceremonies we wish we could attend. We have to accept that when we are gone the next generation will carry on. At some point….it’s their turn.

All this talk about dads made me think about my father.

Today would have been his birthday, so I have had him on my mind and in my heart a lot lately. Here are a few of the lessons my he taught me.

The value of hard work. I have never met anyone who could out work my father. From sun up until sun down (and on into the night) he worked. He farmed. He sold tractors and farm equipment. He dabbled in oil exploration and drilling. There wasn’t anything he was afraid of trying. He was the ultimate deal maker. Donald Trump might have more money but he couldn’t hold a candle to my dad when it came to making a deal.

Faith, family and farming were the things that meant the most to him. He was in church every Sunday. He loved his family and delighted in providing for them and being with them. His passion was farming, anything connected to the land, and especially taking care of the family farm.

If you have a moment watch this snapshot of my Dad’s life. Before you go, “like” me on Facebook, or follow NanaHood every day. Blessings to you and if your dad is still alive, give him a hug and tell him you love him. I know he will appreciate it.

 

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